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Main Sports Business Geek Entertainment Politics Video
Fri February 17, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(News.com.au) Dumbass Cops shock cock with socks in shop  (news.com.au) (4)
(Abc.net.au) Sad You may have a drinking problem if you are turning to liquid soap in the absence of any alcohol  (abc.net.au) (11)
(NPR) Followup Amanda Knox does what everyone expected she would do. Okay, the other thing everyone expected her to do  (npr.org) (20)
(Some Guy) Fail If you are flying in a Cessna with 40 pounds of pot, you should try to stay out of the same air space as the President of the United States  (losangeles.cbslocal.com) (12)
(Sun Journal (Maine)) Fail Paris selectman and treasurer for the Oxford County Republican Committee gets a second OUI charge. Some people just can't say NON  (sunjournal.com) (9)
(Miller-McCune) Scary Do you live in an area where the water has pond scum? Congratulations, you're 25 times more likely to get Lou Gehrig's Disease  (miller-mccune.com) (20)
(The New York Times) Stupid Designer taken to task over use of young models. Oh, and Dr Seuss is IN this fall  (nytimes.com) (17)


Thu February 16, 2012
(The New York Times) Sad In million-dollar deal to save school district, lucky Texas kids now ride "The Chick-Fil-A Bus" to school, where Social Studies has been replaced by Commerce Studies. Just kidding, they sold out for $40k/year  (nytimes.com) (58)
(Daily Mail) Stupid IT worker orders Starbucks coffee with 16 espresso shots. Daily Mail reporters are eager to ask him about the experience, but are still waiting for him to leave the bathroom  (dailymail.co.uk) (87)
(SacBee) Fail Woman tries to give away toddler at Fresno business. Then it gets naked  (sacbee.com) (22)
(Pictures of the Year) Sad The best photo essay you'll ever see. "Brian Scott Ostrom is one of them. After serving four years as a reconnaissance marine and deploying twice to Iraq, Scott, now 27, returned home to the U.S. with a severe case of PTSD"  (poyi.org) (161)
(Washington Times) Asinine Owning a handgun for self-protection in the home is a right, like free speech. Let's check in with Washington D.C. to see if the Heller ruling has sunk in yet. And no, this is not a transcript of a deleted scene from 'Brazil'  (washingtontimes.com) (170)
(Some Guy) Ironic Alabama man arrested, charged with stealing 240,000 gallons of water. From the looks of him, it wasn't for bathing  (timesfreepress.com) (24)
(ESPN) Amusing Rex Flodstrom, arrested for surfing on Lake Michigan, gets a plea deal thanks to his attorney and water-sports expert, Ed Genson  (espn.go.com) (19)
(Washington Post) Interesting Columnist suggests Israelis take a closer look at history before launching attack on Iran. A decision to attack in one instance led to 37 million casualties  (washingtonpost.com) (55)
(Some Guy) Amusing Vader, crushed by the Rebellion and the Obama economy, resorts to armed robbery. He is being held in detention block AA 23  (wacotrib.com) (40)
(Talking Points Memo) Amusing Gramer Nazi sues government for conspiring against him in the slam-dunkiest case of backwards correct syntaxing modification fraud you'll ever see   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) (66)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida State to cut minimum wage for restaurant workers because the food took too long, and the air conditioning is too cold, and I don't like this song, and you gave me to much ice, now I don't have enough ice, why do they even pay you at all?  (orlandosentinel.com) (61)
(CBS LA) News Two people shot at the federal building in downtown Long Beach  (losangeles.cbslocal.com) (165)
(Washington Post) Followup That little girl who was forced to have (yecchy) chicken nuggets instead of her mommies (yummy) turkey and cheese sammich? Yeah. It was all a mistake  (washingtonpost.com) (94)
(Daily Mail) Sick Britain's fattest woman weighs 560 lbs and hasn't left her house in four years. She can still post on Fark though, which is nice  (dailymail.co.uk) (186)
(Some Braids) Photoshop Photoshop this woman with wood  (pdnphotooftheday.com) (22)
(WESH Orlando) Florida Teen steals tomato plant, thinking it was a pot plant. You say tomato I say retarded  (wesh.com) (98)
(BBC) Interesting The faster you walk, the better chance you have of outrunning dementia  (bbc.co.uk) (35)
(Miami Herald) Fail Bank of America transforms man's one hundred dollar check in to $3.3 million  (miamiherald.com) (152)
(Statesman) Fail Crime lab that can give drug test results before actually running tests raises a few eyebrows  (statesman.com) (59)
(The Atlantic) Photoshop Colorize this Old Hero of Gettysburg, then promptly get off his lawn  (cdn.theatlantic.com) (41)
(LA Times) Interesting That's gonna be one loooooong nap  (articles.latimes.com) (23)
(Some Guy) Florida Not news: Man found guilty of trespassing. Florida: so he drinks poison  (wiod.com) (29)
(The Raw Story) Asinine GOP Congressman: Democrats engage in "the most insidious form of slavery remaining in the world today." Apart from actual slavery, apparently  (rawstory.com) (413)
(UPI) Dumbass Homeless counterfeiter tells police he was just trying to make a buck, or $20 and $50 bills  (upi.com) (28)
(Some Guy) Strange School goes on lockdown because of A) a bomb threat B) reports of a student with a gun C) a parent dressed as Mickey Mouse  (vindy.com) (71)
(US News) Sad One in ten US kids is being raised by a drunk. This is great news for police, social workers, and anybody else whose job security depends on an endless supply of idiots with active reproductive systems. Not so great for kids, though  (health.usnews.com) (171)
(Denver Channel) Dumbass It takes 30 min. to get a pizza delivered, but 6 hours to get the pizza guy's carjacked car back using an app  (thedenverchannel.com) (33)
(Talking Points Memo) Stupid GOP: "It's an outrage that Obamacare forces employers to pay for contraception." Reporter: "How do you feel about Romneycare, which has the same provision?" GOP: ***crickets***   (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (277)
(New Castle News) Strange Police get call about man stuck in bear trap. Only a) it wasn't a man and b) it wasn't a bear trap  (ncnewsonline.com) (55)
(National Post) Weird Typical weekday in Saanich: Drunken man crashes truck, but continues to drive with a broken axle and just 3 wheels for several blocks before stopping to break into a house to play the piano and skateboard  (news.nationalpost.com) (51)
(MyFox Twin Cities) Amusing Neighbor from Hell wears sunglasses at night, flashes crotch at kids birthday party, flips the bird to news reporter  (myfoxtwincities.com) (186)
(Daily Mail) Sad Who hasn't had the dream where you are at school and you get strip searched by the school and they reveal your Superman undies to the entire class? It's not always a dream  (dailymail.co.uk) (123)
(NPR) Interesting Helloooooooo male nurse  (npr.org) (38)
(MSNBC) Interesting South Korea, in an effort to stop the slow deaths of "that which has no life", considering putting a 2 hour time limit on gaming  (ingame.msnbc.msn.com) (161)
(Short List) Dumbass British school bans slang so students can have a "better chance in the real world". By real world they must mean "getting understood by Americans"  (shortlist.com) (72)
(NYPost) Obvious Panasonic to stop manufacturing VCRs for Japanese market. If you're unsure what a VCR is, ask your parents  (nypost.com) (143)
(Some Guy) Stupid If you can think of something to do with 20,000 cubic yards of smashed bottles, the recycling capital of the US would like to talk to you  (katu.com) (86)
(SeattlePI) Sappy Bulldog adopts six wild boar piglets, was last heard shouting "BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON"  (seattlepi.com) (22)
(Jalopnik) Hero College student launches $5 walk-of-shame shuttle service, including bottled water, discount coupon for Plan B, and complimentary high-five from nonjudgmental driver. With pic (scroll down). You be the judge  (jalopnik.com) (156)
(Some Guy) Strange If you're miles from civilization and a deadly tiger snake bites your friend on his testicle and your friend asks you to suck the venom out, would you?  (dailytelegraph.com.au) (81)
(National Review) Scary In case you were wondering if the Religious Left is as looney as the Religious Right. Yep, it is  (nationalreview.com) (304)
(Science Daily) Obvious Researchers find serious shrinkage in specific brain areas with alcohol use. Primarily those involving assessing how well you're dancing and how attractive that person is  (sciencedaily.com) (28)
(CBS News) Followup You are now free to continue not having a job  (cbsnews.com) (91)
(Some Guy) Florida Looking at porn on your phone and showing it to those around you may not get you fired from your job unless you are known by your students as the BEST BUS DRIVER EVER  (newsherald.com) (12)
(Mother Nature Network) Obvious Six things you should never say to your mother-in-law. Seven, if you include, "There's no more gin"  (mnn.com) (57)
(ABC) Dumbass Important tip for police officers: if you shut off your dashboard cam so you can brutalize a suspect during arrest, make sure your lapel mike is also off when you tell them you are "just going to make something up" about their injuries  (abcnews.go.com) (146)
(The Hindu) Cool Breezes emanate from this guy's peacock fan 14 hours a day, while he helps sweat-drenched temple-goers without a single day off for 52 years  (thehindu.com) (27)
(The New York Times) Spiffy GM posts record annual profit before halftime, plans to totally run up the score  (nytimes.com) (58)
(Some Guy) Ironic Trolling the long game: Write death penalty law in 1982. Attempt to eliminate death penalty law as state supreme court justice in 2012  (cleveland.cbslocal.com) (59)
(BBC) Amusing Man pays £21m for Bacon nude, is promptly thrown out of IHOP  (bbc.co.uk) (21)
(Times Free Press) Spiffy Cool: Trinidad Moruga Scorpion wins hottest pepper title. Not Cool: Mean heat topped more than 1.2 million units on the Scoville scale  (timesfreepress.com) (109)
(Japan Times) Weird Tokyo rabbit cafe smash hit with stressed-out Japanese. "'I came here during my break to relax,' said a smiling woman in her late 20s as she fed fresh vegetables to some of the rabbits"  (japantimes.co.jp) (44)
(KHOU Houston) Hero Guy stops suspect robbing neighbor. "I'm no hero. Just an everyday, ordinary business man"... with a big farking gun  (khou.com) (135)
(The Sun) Fail Saucy: Kate Middleton sends Prince William underwear for Valentine's Day. Fail: His, not hers  (thesun.co.uk) (19)
(The Local (Sweden)) Scary G-g-g-g-g-g-g-GHOST SHIP  (thelocal.se) (49)
(UPI) Fail Protip: If you're going to light a candle in honor of a recently deceased celebrity, make sure it's not near any other flammable materials  (upi.com) (14)
(Marketwatch) Scary Moody's places every bank in the world on review for credit downgrade. Every bank? EVERY BANK  (marketwatch.com) (62)
(Daily Mail) Stupid Controversial PETA ad claims going vegan may make you so good in bed "you'll injure your girlfriend". Surprisingly, some people have a problem with this  (dailymail.co.uk) (134)
(Some Cute Puppy) Sappy Farkette humbly requests help from fellow Farkers. Not for herself, but for an out of work friend and his furry roommates. DIT  (facebook.com) (125)
(Some Farker) Photoshop Farker Pxlboy requests to be Photoshopped in honor of his 10th year on Fark  (smg.photobucket.com) (62)
(MSNBC) Cool 1 in 12 marriages in the United States are more open minded than President and Mrs. Obama's  (msnbc.msn.com) (149)
(The Local (Germany)) Amusing Teenager discovers Internet video of her parents at a swinger club. With helpful pic of what "swinging" parents might look like  (thelocal.de) (74)
(NewsBusters) Stupid New York Times Headline: "Howls of Protest" against Mitt Romney. Actual Story: 12 people showed up. Bigger Story: Author has written a variant on the same story 28 times in the past 4 years  (newsbusters.org) (79)
(The National) Amusing You know what would really spice up the crocodile exhibit? Monkeys  (thenational.ae) (42)
(LA Times) Stupid This weekend's 5 hour, 25 mile traffic jam on I-10 was caused by c) a pothole and a lack of cement (they throw in the cement to make it hard)  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (60)
(SLTrib) Fail A BYU student gets "Valentine's" note from a fellow student, presumably one with a penis, kindly asking her to not dress all sexy sexy. With picture of sexy sexy BYU student almost out of uniform  (sltrib.com) (338)
(WIVB) Interesting Millions of people expected to come out to Niagara Falls to watch man fall to his death  (wivb.com) (36)
(Some Guy) Fail Man robs Walgreens to pay for crack binge, cleverly disguising himself in a ski mask and ditching the jacket he wore during the robbery. The jacket with a letter in the pocket. Addressed to him  (theday.com) (14)
(New York Daily News) Asinine Teacher forces her fifth-grade class to send Christmas cards to her boyfriend in jail. Aww, isn't that 'sweet'  (nydailynews.com) (38)
(Daily Mail) Strange Another face seen in a tree trunk. No it's not Jeebus or the Virgin Mary. Hint: Phone home  (dailymail.co.uk) (24)
(The Chattanoogan) Fail Borrowers defaulting on their payday loans? Send them fake court papers and wait for them at the county courthouse. The real courthouse people won't mind, will they?  (chattanoogan.com) (85)
(Daily Mail) Sad What's worse than being a jockey? Being Britain's unluckiest jockey (warning: some pics are a bit graphic)  (dailymail.co.uk) (64)
(MSNBC) Hero Police buy the cemetery plots beside the Powell boys so their father can't be buried next to them  (usnews.msnbc.msn.com) (274)
(Some Rich Guy) Florida Website helps you find your "sugar daddy" for financial help in paying for your college degree. What could possibly be wrong about this?  (miami.cbslocal.com) (146)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 354: "Places of Worship". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (156)

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