My daughter is the first one you see in the video! She's a John Mayer fan, too!

I am doing my best to raise kind and compassionate children. So far, at ages three and five, I think I've done a pretty good job. My oldest, Cakes, is a very cheery, outgoing, sweet girl who cares deeply about others. She speaks nicely to people, and although she can be a bit bossy, she generally is very kind. She may tell someone what to do, but in the nicest of ways. My son, Bubby, is really about as sweet as they get. Really. Though I am quite biased, everyone who spends and amount of time with him will agree, and often comments on how sweet he is. He will share anything as long as you ask him nicely. He is a great sharer and has always been. And I've got stories to back up these claims. Please be patient with me, because there really is a point I'm trying to get to and I need your help .

One of our very good friends has a son, H, with a severe peanut allergy. We are very careful about what food/snacks we share with him and always check labels before taking anything to their house or out on the lake, etcetera. So one day while we were at their house, Cakes shares with another guest that at her next birthday party she is going to make sure and not have anything with peanuts so that H could enjoy the same stuff as everyone else and not be left out.

One day at school, my daughter had a substitute teacher. One of the students in class is autistic and tends to make a lot of noise and the sub asked the class who was making all the noise. Cakes responded by saying, " It's okay. That's Ethan. He's still learning how to act in class." This same boy, she goes out of her way every morning to say hi to as we walk into school. He never responds or even acknowledges her, but she says hi to him with a big smile every time she sees him.

And then there's the friend that we check on every morning. She's had a hard time adjusting to kindergarten so every morning she's crying when we see her. We always try to cheer her up and offer a friendly hello. Cakes will excitedly say hi and try to give her a hug, but she plain ignores her. Well, this morning, for the first time she wasn't crying. When Cakes went to say hi, the friend didn't even look at her and said "Don't talk to me" in the meanest tone. My heart broke watching Cakes turned around and walk toward me with such a defeated look. After school today I asked  Cakes if she had seen her friend at school. She said she did, but the friend didn't acknowledge her again.

This a friend that we have play dates with on a regular basis. Cakes goes home with her once a week and we get together another day during the week. They play well together, and they have a great time.

There's another friend that's mean to her as well. Same sort of stuff. She's generally nice, but when in a bad mood, is very mean to her.

That's what it is, isn't it? Moodiness. Grumpiness.

That kind of behavior is unacceptable in our house. If you are tired/crabby/grumpy/mad or whatever, that's fine, but it does not give you the right to take it out on others. End of story. Move on.

We try to live our lives by the Golden Rule:

But how do I protect my kiddos from the hurt caused by others' meanness? What tools can I give them to cope with it?

A friend of mine said very wisely,

"It can be a teaching/talking time to talk about what real friendship is, the Golden Rule, and how we will allow/not allow ourselves to be treated."

This resonated with me. I am a people pleaser, as is my daughter(little clone). I've allowed others to treat me in ways I shouldn't have. I've been the doormat, and I don't want that for my daughter. But how do I teach her that which I don't know how to do myself???

I went to get my hair cut this afternoon and left the kiddos with G.G. When I came home, about an hour later, I walked in to find some man inside the house with them. There was no vehicle outside so I was alarmed. G.G. informs me that he was there trying to sell her a vacuum. I was shocked that she would let someone in the house, especially with the kids there, so I asked her why. Why would you let some man inside the house? Seems pretty dangerous to me.

So she explains, in her sweet, kind of helpless way, that a woman came to the door and asked to do a free demonstration. G.G. expressed to her that it was not a good time but the woman wouldn't take no for an answer. She said that it was the only day they were doing them and she wouldn't get paid if she didn't do it, and that G.G. wouldn't have to pay anything. Of course G.G. gave in and agreed to the demonstration. And here's where the switch-a-roo happens. A man came in with the vacuum (it was actually a foam carpet cleaner) to clean some of the carpet. And then, the woman left!

I don't know how long he was in the house before I got there. Long enough to do a demonstration I guess, because he was packing his stuff up. All I know is I was completely taken aback when I walked in, expecting to see my kids and their G.G. watching t.v. or playing, and basically running into some strange man. My first instinct was to grab the kids and run. My next was to scold G.G. for letting him in.

First of all, don't you think that in this day and age, door-to-door marketing is a bad practice? Do people really let complete strangers into their homes? I know that I wouldn't, especially if I were home alone with the kids.

Secondly, I can't believe that these people pretty much forced themselves in. No means no! I feel as though they preyed on our sweet G.G. Granted, nothing bad happened, but the whole situation just seemed sketchy to me. To make it even sketchier, after he left, he stood at the end of the driveway for about 15 minutes waiting to be picked up by  a van without any sort of business name or logo anywhere on it.

And lastly, when it was all said and done, G.G. had no idea what they were selling. She thought they were selling vacuums when they were actually selling a carpet cleaning service. I feel like reporting them to the Better Business Bureau.

       

Be sure to stop by Wordless Wednesday and 5 Minutes for Mom for more great photos!