It's no secret.

I could really have done without last year and nearly everything that happened in it. Health problems rained down, pain moved in, and then I made some bad decisions. Some of those bad decisions included absurd amounts of pretzel M&Ms and Dr. Pepper.

Recap:
January: Recovering from hysterectomy, bladder spams
March: Herniated disks in my neck freaked the frak out, injured foot
April: Lost sensation in my right hand due to neck injury, steroid shots
August: The ear pain begins and my herniated disks freak out again, more shots
September: Shots didn't work, so more, different shots
December: Finally get relief from acupuncture for ear pain (due to TMJ) only to have it come back over Christmas break.

And now, finally my ear has responded again to acupuncture and I am off the muscle relaxers, pain meds, and nerve meds. I actually never went back on the pain stuff when the pain came back over Christmas - I just can't trust myself to come back from that deep, dark place - but I did end up taking a lot of nerve meds to try and compensate for it. It left me wiped out. Also, fat. The nerve meds kill/numb my taste buds (impaired my judgement) and pretty much the only thing I could still taste was chocolate.

So I ate a lot of it. And it cost me about 25 pounds.

It wasn't until my daughter tried on a dress I bought two summers ago and it looked great on her, that I realized how far I'd come from there. How far I'd come from feeling the best I ever have to the exact opposite.


Even just this past June I was still in okay shape--not that shape means everything. Mentally, though, I am not the same. I have been the Whipping Boy for Pain for the past five months and I let it get the best of me. And you want to know something? Even with all those medicines in my system, I still felt awful.

Given the choice between hurting or feeling crappy and not giving a damn about pretty much anything, Self, next time do us all a favor and just deal with the pain.

RESOLVED: Get in the best shape of my life again and this time really enjoy it.

Is anyone still out there? What do you resolve?

[ http://www.youtube.com/embed/aSq1cez_flQ?rel=0 ]
I adore her voice, and she looks ready to ring in the new year with that tiara. Enjoy!

Nina runs Healing Points Acupuncture and Neuro Feedback. She is one of the most compassionate, intuitive people I know, and she is very good at what she does. Your insurance might even cover acupuncture; call and find out.

I don't know why I don't pull out alternative medicine as a front line approach, especially considering the luck I've had with it.

One of my friends has a Master's in Chinese Medicine and happens to live a few neighboring towns over. When my ear was still giving me grief, but before I resorted to going back on pain medication, I called her up and asked her if she'd treated TMJ.

She had and said so far she'd had 100% success in relieving the pain and ringing associated with TMJ. That was all I needed to hear, and even though I remain the biggest skeptic of all, she'd offered me hope. After the very first treatment, the pressure and pain in my face felt intense, but by that evening I was almost pain-free without medication of any kind.

That was 10 days ago. I still have occasional stabbing pain in my ear, but it is amazing what a break from constant pain can do. I feel almost human again. The popping and fullness in my ears is nearly gone. She is also treating me for nerve pain in the tooth next my oral surgery site (it would be nice to avoid and root canal and stop funding the private islands of dentists). I have been able to go grocery and Christmas shopping, go on dates with Mr. O and even (gasp!) cook.

I wish I'd thought of seeing her back in August when this whole thing started. Who knows, maybe we'd have saved enough to take the whole family to Hawaii instead of pouring money into the pit that is my mouth.

Anyway, Nina is wonderful and intuitive and I highly recommend her acupuncture clinic. I'm happy to give you her contact info if you'd like to see her.

She is also treating Nicole and I for allergies via the NAET protocol.

I know.

I'm an even bigger skeptic when it comes to this treatment, but I've read up on it. Even though my brain says there's no way it should work, I've already seen how it does. Have you heard of NAET? Would you consider trying it? Would you use alternative medicine?

For your listening enjoyment (different, but lovely):

I haven't just hit bottom with all this ear pain, I've hit sideways bottom. As in my lower-half (bottom) is getting more and more sideways. I've decided that the only thing worse than feeling the pain is to feel all tired and muffiny on top of everything. Or muffin-toppy. So I'm quitting my medicinal helpers and getting back down to the business of being fit and healthy. Join me, won't you?

This rice bag and I are the best of friends these days. I heat it up, put it on my pillow, make a little hollowed-out spot for my ear to rest in and then...I lay down and the spikes coming out of my eyeball recede ever so slightly.

My friend and doula made it for me as a gift when I had Ellie. Who knew that six years (and a few mended rips) later it would still bring me comfort?

In the garden, there's a row of peppers still waiting to be yanked out by their stems. I've resisted pulling them out so that I can photograph their hunched-over spines. I'm sympathetic to these peppers. I know how they feel, and somehow pulling them out after they're all used up seems to hit too close to home. I feel like a bit of traitor using them like that. We won't talk about me putting them in salsa to swim with mangoes...that's entirely different.


I have enough photos for my month of sunsets, but I don't want to post them as that will feel like a sunset on my sunset photos. It's a conundrum, I tell you.

Ty has a chest cold.
That means no surgery for him.
At least not yet
We'll likely not get a new date until April.
Which stinks because he will be in a lot of pain until then.
But, I guess this means that his Christmas won't be spent in a body cast...
So there's that.
Always look on the bright side of life.

Right here, this is where I tell you that I believe in my kids. I believe in them enough to let them learn their own lessons. (Insert small, random diatribe here. Please note my self-restraint). Who's with me? How do you lean? Do you tend to direct/save your kids or let them feel natural consequences (good and bad) while the stakes are relatively small? (Just so we're clear, I don't mean stuff like letting them run out in the street when they're toddlers). Does anyone know what I mean? Am I talking to myself? Preaching to the choir? Also, why does it feel like I'm yelling?

Tonight, Ellie came in looking like a shepherd with a golden headdress. I asked her who she was and she came right back with, "Little Yellow Riding Hood."

In other news, Mr. O has taken Thanksgiving matters into his own hands (my, how I do love him) and we will have traditional turkey day fare. Maybe I will even make pie. I mean there's still 15 hours before dinner tomorrow, why rush things? In related news, if you have a spare pie I know of a good home.

P.S. It's true, I didn't take all the photos on the last post. My kids have good eyes too. I love that they look at the small things in life too. Guess I have taught them something after all.