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Trigger warning
Posted in Everything | Tagged bizarre, dickwolves, joke, triggerMemorial haiku
Mollie Sugden dead
Mrs Slocombe is no more
Now her pussy weeps
The ten smallest cardinal numbers
© cracked.com 2009
Thought for the day
What do you put mothballs in, if you don’t plan to use them for a while?
Con
We bought this stuff:
But it’s exactly the same size as ordinary rice.
These things occur to me
What do you put mothballs in, if you don’t plan on using them for quite a while?
A little logic is a dangerous thing
On September 20th, an unnamed woman was raped at gunpoint by four men.
A judge in Philadelphia has ruled that since the woman was a prostitute, it wasn’t gang rape—just “theft of services”.
Full of sound and fury, signifying great savings
Proposal:
Instead of giving hurricanes and tropical storms the same boring names time and time again, we should sell naming rights to the highest bidder. Tropical Storm Scion xA! Hurricane X-treme Cheddar Doritos!
Weather maps could show the corporate logo in the middle of the storm.
And here’s the best bit: money raised could go towards relief efforts.
You may think corporations wouldn’t want to be associated with life-destroying disasters, but we’ve already seen the Chevrolet Avalanche and Oldsmobile Tornado, no doubt soon to be followed by the Mitsubishi Tsunami, the Toyota HSN1, and the Ford Wildfire.
Asininity for all
What would you get if some neocons decided to create comic books to tell the truth about the liberal menace? You’d get something like this:
Extract from Liberality For All.
I’d like to think that the authors are actually writing it as a sophisticated parody of the right wing mindset, taking the lunacy heard on Fox News and imagining if it were true, and selling it to a gullible conservative audience. But I strongly suspect they’re serious.
They probably don’t see the hilariousness of casting G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North as super heroes either.
But you’ve gotta admit, that’s some damn fine crayon work.
Spy squirrels captured in Iran
According to IRNA, the official Islamic Republic news agency, the national Police chief has implicitly verified the news about the confiscation of a number of squirrels, equipped with eavesdropping devices, on the Iranian borders. He has declined to give any more details, but, reportedly, when asked about the confiscation of 14 spy squirrels, he stated, “I have heard about it, but I do not have precise informationâ€. IRNA adds, “These squirrels were equipped by foreign intelligence services, but were captured two weeks ago by the Policeâ€.
Life imitates Flickr?
