Doing Too Much

She gave me a devotional, Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much. It was just a token of love and concern, but my reply was defensive.

The Bath, Mary Cassatt

After the commotion of the evening calmed, I read a few of the meditations searching to see if my offense was truth I needed to face. I found words about addiction and disease. I found admonishments to take time for myself. I found reminders that we have choices in this life. And perhaps that is the key.

I realize that I have choices. Our family is starting a business, and I’m helping to start a school. I have purposefully made these choices. I am not overwhelmed and overtaken because of the seeming chaos around me.

Peace is first internal. I find it in quiet prayers throughout the day. I find it by attempting to match my actions to reality. The children running around here are more important than the door that might fall off its hinges from swinging. Serving all the souls who enter my home is a privilege.

Slipping into bed, I asked my beloved if he thinks I am a workaholic like the book suggested. He worries that I do too much, too. His reply:

Faith. Really? If those words from the one who knows me best here on earth are true, then my busyness is not some compelling drive for acceptance. It is not my doing at all. If those words are true, my choices simply start with being willing to open my heart, because faith is a gift.

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Imitating Me

Frustrated with the continual mess. Frustrated with the lack of space. The constant purging. The constant squeeze.

I ask the little ones to clean their room and the whining starts.

Where does that come from?

Their words express what is in my heart.

I tell them if they can’t clean up they have too much stuff.

They see the plastic bag and the whining turns to screaming. I reassure my girls that I’m not throwing things away. It’s just…there is so little room. We need to store some things for the sake of sanity.

And I grow weary. Headache and heat mixed with the inner turmoil of a soul who craves order and beauty. I pause to pray.

The constant dilapidation into chaos happens in my heart, too.

Setting things right begins internally. It happens when I choose to lay it all down.

It happens when I choose contentment in the midst of chaos.

I remind my soul that this too shall pass. The things around me are temporal. I squint to see with the eyes of faith. Eternal beings are in my care. These precious souls need a good model to follow, but I fail. I wail. I flail.

Discipline is far from me, but can’t it be squeezed in to replace some of the messes within?

And when that happens, the external might just might match the internal.

And then my children will learn habits worthy of modeling.

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Carnival of Homeschooling: Wish List Edition

Office supplies make me giddy. Going to the library is my fondest errands. Bookshelves are my favorite pieces of furniture. Can you relate? If so, you may be a homeschooler.

In this edition of the Carnival of Homeschooling, I consider my wish list while highlighting posts submitted by the homeschooling community. This is a wonderful opportunity to enjoy a smattering of what blogging has to offer.

The homeschool community is diverse and I’m sure my wish list is vastly different from yours, but whatever you desire I hope we can all agree on the importance of liberty.

May the freedom to teach our children continue.

I wish for…

Liberty

Endurance

Library/work room

Wisdom

Housekeeper

What is on your wish list?

If you would like to submit your blog article to the next edition of Carnival of Homeschooling, please use this submission form.

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Easter Is Coming! Activity List

In preparation for Easter, I wanted to work through some devotions similar to what we did during Advent. I poked around the internet a bit, but when April mentioned making ornaments I pressed.

She shared the pictures of her handmade ornaments and told me about the devotion book she is using, The Lenten Tree.

I decided to get the book even though we aren’t making any ornaments this year. {Who says you have to make a Lenten tree even if you’re reading The Lenten Tree? The devotions are very nice all by themselves.}

With our new devotions, I decided to mirror Miiko Gibson’s free ebook, Lent Activities for the Family, and create a list of things to do during the upcoming days. A few of these ideas are from her list, but my children came up with their own ideas, too.

As we celebrate spring and resurrection, we will reflect on the blessings we receive and take some time to make a memory or two.

How do you celebrate this season?

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P.S. The Carnival of Homeschooling will be posted here tomorrow. If you have a post you’d like to include, please submit it at Blog Carnival.

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Words Matter: “I’m Praying for You.”

A shy teenage girl left her room littered with clothes as she ran out the door. The thirty minute drive to church was a welcome respite from the busyness of school and work. With the radio blaring, her yellow Buick cruised down the canyon. Dusty browns turned green as the river came into view. Waterfalls poured. Birds soared. Praises escaped.

Bursting through the church doors, she was greeted with a high five from Pastor. Then eyes scanned for her best friend. Once together the giggling started as the weight of school slipped away. The friends sat together through service, grew together.

photo: jessie.millan

Sunday services repeated over and over without a record of words spoken, but truths sank down. Love sank down and changed this girl little by little.

The girl was grateful when the pastor’s brother, a towering saint with a bolo tie, came up to her and said,

She needed prayer, this struggling one full of angst and longing. She tried to be good, but what was good in a world blaring lies? In the deepest places of her soul, she wanted to make a difference in the world. In the darkest hours of the night, she wondered whether she mattered at all.

A few Sundays later, the words repeated,

Five months later, the words comforted,

Two years later, the words penetrated,

The girl continued to grow. She headed away to college, but always when she returned back to her home church she saw the smile and the bolo tie and heard,

The simple promise repeated over and over echoes still. Wonder mingles with profound gratitude. A man of God covered me with prayer for over a decade and that matters even now.

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