Lifestyle of a Village Kiddo

The word Cancer is extremely common today that it scares me. Having been a survivor, and losing both my parents to it, I am, without a doubt, no stranger to this disease. While I did lose my mother to breast cancer, it was my dad's battle with stomach cancer that really taught me what I am about to write today.

When cancer strikes, it does not only affect the patient, but also family members of the patient. Dealing with the disease as a family member do not make it easier than dealing with it as a patient. Having fought alongside dad for exactly one year, here is what I have learnt:-

The Do's:
Of course, the crux of it all is:

When I first posted the Formspring.me box on the right corner of my blog, I would have expected all sorts of questions coming my way.. This morning, what is funny is that I got a question from an "anonymous" person asking me extremely personal things about my personal life rather rudely, which was surprising, as apparently, this person is apparently "Educated".

Woman, you bring a whole new meaning to the word Educated. Perhaps, word of the day may be Lack of Mannerism. Its no surprise. It's probably the way you were being brought up with.

It makes me laugh how a person drops by my blog, Reads my stuffs, pry into my life, and then gets jealous at me.

Woman, Jealousy is a double edged sword. Be careful or you may just cut yourself too deep.
I've been quiet for a long enough time even when you have condemned my father, who is now in peace. Coming from a "Woman of God" as you openly proclaimed, that is just hyprocrital!

Oh yes, I'm talking about you. And yes, I am most definitely better than you because I said So. Well, at least I'm no liar. You are.

Just this morning at work, while I had a little free time on hand, I decided to browse through the "Notes" section on Facebook and came across this, posted by a dear old friend of mine, the beautiful Jaymie Barbie .
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Why do people make love so complicated? Its easy to love really, its easy to lend a hand, accept someone for their faults and differences. Why put a boundary on love and not let that emotion in? Why judge and accuse someone of loving too much, when all this world really needs is a little more of that four letter word. Love has dissapeared because everyone tries to give it a definition, tries to chop it up, and give their own meaning to how they feel love should be, so much that they make it impossible TO love

Give it up, dont be afraid to admit when you love, Never feel guilty for it. Every single person in this world wants to feel love, when they dont have it, they criticize it, when they have it, theyre blinded to their kind of love, you will probably love differently than the next, but dont ever let anyone stand in your way and tell you HOW to love or what love really is, because only you feel love the way you do.


If you were placed in my life and ive given you a moment of my time, ive loved you, maybe even for the simple fact that you took the time to talk to me, to listen to what I had to say, maybe it goes deeper than a you’ve always been there for me, the people I put in my life ive fallen in love with them for many different reasons whether its a simple reason, or a complicated one. Im not afraid to admit that every one has made their way into my heart a little, and im sending you my love in hopes that you accept your love, whatever it may be
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This brings me back to an old post of mine, Love is Like Narcotic , where I was asking myself, if I, like every other person, have the capacity to love.

I now know, I do, if not equally as much, maybe more than I used to Ü

What would you do if you are out grocery shopping at Tesco and you chanced upon a weighing machine? I do not know about you, but I took the chance to weigh myself and thanks to home cooked dishes most of the night, I packed on 3 KGs! Imagine the horror... There goes my weight-loss efforts and diligent run on the treadmill. I am too much of a glutton to let home cooked dishes pass without taking a whack at it and the result is indeed prominent, as everyone seemed to note on the "chubby-er" side of me. Ö


I guess I should hit the treadmill again, eh?


Motto for the week:


Run healthy, Eat lightly, and for goodness sake, Lose some weight, Cindy! ;)


Have a happy Monday all. Pardon for the lack of post, I have so much to blog about but so little time! (heh... 'twas an excuse). I'll be blogging soon! :D

It is almost 7 months now, since dad passed away. Within 7 months, I have led a tumultuous life. It began with a new job, surrounding by new people. A new change. A new life. Gradually, grief lessens and I learnt how to smile again. I started living my life as though nothing happened. Yeah, there were times when I thought of dad, and there were times when tears would well up in my eyes, but I brushed them off as soon as it happened.

I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be unbreakable. I wanted to be okay, for my family. I once read a quote, Pretend to smile, and you'll be happier. So, that was what I did.


I was reading "The Last Song" penned by one of my all time favourite author:- Nicholas Sparks. It was a very enjoyable book, almost like a chick-lit, until the middle of the book. The book speaks of a father, dying of stomach cancer, and how his daughter defiantly fought for him to live on. This, sounds so similar. Feels so similar. While reading it, it almost feels like I was warped back to a year and 7 months back:- When I first found out about dad's cancer. Dad, had stomach cancer too.

Vivid images and flashbacks of the whole journey was playing in my head, over and over again. From the surgery, to the removal of the whole tumour, to chemotherapy, to radiation, to dad getting well again, to suspected recurrences, to dad losing 30 Kg, to dad not being lucid, and finally till he lose consciousness.

The one image that lingered on my mind, was the image of dad, before breathing his last breath, stroking my hair, with tears rolling down his cheeks.

I have always been a daddy's girl, through and through. Losing him, was like sucking the breath out of me. I felt like I lost all directions in life. Living, without a reason.

I thought, I was over that; but reading The Last Song today proved otherwise. I almost could not finish the book. Many told me I didn't have to finish it, but I wanted to. It is my life battle to fight, and when I finally did finish it, I succumbed to my grief and I had to hid in the ladies for a couple of hours and cried my hearts out.

I wish I could hid my face in his chest and cry my hearts out. I wish I could have him stroking my hair and telling me that all will be okay. I wish I could see him smile and watch his excited face as he caught a fish on his fishing rod. I wish I could smell the musky scent of his after shave and feel the warmth of his loving hug when I'm back for a visit. I wish I could taste the cake he baked, and enjoy the fruit juices he was so good at making.

I wish I could have more time with my Papa. 22 years is not enough. I wish I could see him again, just once. Just once, so I can tell him just how much I Love him. So I can thank him for being such a wonderful, perfect dad.

Sometimes, I ponder at my own fate. Cruel. Painful. Yet kind in so many ways. The Man above has taken away the person I love the most, and gave me another. I guess, eventually I will come to terms with Life. At 22, I have not fully grasp the concept of loving my love ones. Maybe given time, I may gradually understand.

I need to start blogging again! I wish there are more than 24 hours to my days, dont you? (:

Soo.... Its another one of those Saturday nights when I'm miserably cooped up at home with absolutely no where to go and nothing to do! Times like this usually brings my interests to surveys and quizzes on the net which i fill out purely for the fun of it. So here's one of those that I found on HappySurfer 's Blog that made my eye go O.O . Now I know the reason behind my Sleeping issues... ö
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