ümlaut

I've been looking at The Trooper art since 1983.. but it was only today that I noticed the "666" on his shoulder while looking at a huge 9' x 3' blowup of the art!
"On this battlefield no one wins.."

Unfortunately, Umlaut was unable to attend the historic Bonded By Baloff show that took place last weekend in Oakland.


A very epic, Old Bay Area Metal bill that featured Exodus being joined onstage by former guitarists Kirk Hammett (who?) and Rick Hunolt (The H-Team of Holt and Hunolt reunited!), and bassist Jeff Alexander.  Anyway, as my own belated tribute, I am posting these:

The very first (blurry) photo I ever took of Baloff..  Exodus - The Stone, San Francisco - March 5, 1983 with Jeff Alexander on bass, Kirk Hammett and Gary Holt on guitars, and Tom Hunting on drums.

Murder In The Front Row:  The pit during Exodus at Wolfgang's, San Francisco - January 30, 1984 (Photo by Wayne Vanderkuil).  See if you can spot the not-old-enough-to-buy-alcohol Umlaut flipping the camera off.

Anyway... This has been my humble tribute to my old friend and Metal hero.  Ten years gone.. Rest in Peace, Baloff.

Ghost / Blood Ceremony / Ancient VVisdom
The Bottom Of The Hill, San Francisco
February 1, 2012


"On this night of ritual.. invoking The Master... to procreate the unholy bastard.."

I checked out Ghost over a year ago because of the underground buzz about them... but it took me 3 listens for their debut album to *click* with me. I can't remember the last time I even gave an album or a band multiple chances to win me over like that. Usually, if I don't like something the first time I move on... but Ghost had other plans for me. Opus Eponymous has been at the top of my personal album playlist for almost a year now. Tonight's show was the smallest venue of their debut North American Tour and I couldn't comprehend how the band would be able to fit on the Bottom of the Hill's tiny stage.

Although this show sold out a month in advance, San Francisco crowds can be such jaded mofos. However, when the 6 band members emerged from the back of the club and walked down the hallway to the stage you could literally feel the entire crowd freeze for a split second in anticipation. It's been awhile since there's been a show around here with this much built up hype and anticipation; the fact that Ghost had dropped off Enslaved's U.S. Tour 5 months ago only ratcheted it up that much more.

Ghost sings about such everyday subjects as Satan and human sacrifices.. but their crowd is smiling and singing along to their every word. Magical. The Swedes opened with 'Con Clavi Con Dio' and then straight into 'Elizabeth' and I can't remember the last time a band came through town for the first time and the crowd knew all of their songs. Magical. Every song off their album was played with the live versions being even more robust and compelling than the recorded versions. At this early stage in their history I think that Ghost's "agenda" can be defined by the cover song they chose to fill out their set... a stunning version of The Beatles 'Here Comes The Sun' that turns the hippie Beatles message into an upside down cross that "The Son" of the Dark Lord is coming but "it's alright". Any doubt about this blasphemous use of George Harrison's words was erased by the crying baby intro tape that proceeded the song. BRILLIANT! During the set closing 'Ritual', Papa Emeritus gave communion to the front row with wine and wafers as the band closed out the song.


'Ritual' is already one of those iconic songs for me and it's by far THE catchiest song ever written about human sacrifice. When Ghost launched into it to close the set I was seeing it performed live in person for the first time; it was one of those great Music Geek moments that will never be replicated. After the show, Ghost held an audience with a human named James Hetfield... and then graced myself and my colleagues with an audience as well. The band were gracious and I thank them for granting us mere mortals with the meeting... I will never say or post anything publicly to ruin Ghost's mystique. However, I will reveal that Papa Emeritus was already very aware of my involvement with Murder In The Front Row before we met and had requested an audience with me. True.

I was attracted to Metal as a kid because it gave me an escape from my boring teenage suburban environment. Most of my earliest Metal heroes like Black Sabbath, Blue Öyster Cult, Iron Maiden and Mercyful Fate didn't make me want to fuck shit up; their songs gave me a place for my imagination to run to and escape my teen reality. Now, here in the 21st Century, Ghost reminds me of that feeling again. This band makes me feel like that teenage Metalhead again... and for that I am grateful to the Swedes.

Orchid shirts = 2 (including mine). On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. Then 24 hours later it was...

Ghost / Blood Ceremony / Ancient VVisdom
The Roxy, Hollywood, California
February 2, 2012

Groundhog Day 2012 and I basically repeated the previous day... which was not a bad thing at all. Tonight was also the 13th and final show of Ghost's debut North AmericanTour... and with only 3 hours of sleep I found myself jetting down to the Burbank Airport first thing in the morning. No rest for the wicked, man.

After spending the afternoon doing work-related duties and having an awesome Ahi Tuna / mashed potatoes / salad lunch we headed over to the infamous Rainbow Bar & Grill for pre-show drinks. The fact that The Rainbow is right next door to the venue is one thing I actually like about L.A.. The opening acts came recommended to me by some friends... and they weren't bad... but in the end neither band has songs... and in Blood Ceremony's case they try too hard at being "dark" and it simply looks forced IMO... and a flute is NOT Metal and never will be. Anyway...

This was one of those shows that I would call "triumphant". Unlike the night before, Ghost had a full stage and lighting to work with in front of the sold out crowd of 600... and they absolutely killed it. For a band on their first tour they perform effortlessly and with awesome confidence and charisma; it's mesmerizing to witness when combined with their infectious songs. Ghost are already a polarizing band, with people either loving or hating them for whatever reasons... but I would guess that 95% of the haters haven't seen the band live (and watching YouTube videos doesn't count)... and live is where this band transcends most others.


'Ritual' is already one of those iconic songs for me... and when Ghost launched into it to close the night and their tour the crowd went crazy and sang along as they had the night before in S.F. It was (again) one of those magical Music Geek moments. Also as with the night before, I'll never see any of the band's songs performed in exactly the same way again... because the next time they visit America in April it will be in front of bigger audiences and many more fans. It's always special to catch a band at the beginning of something special and I've been lucky to have witnessed this ascension with many of my favorite bands over the years. It's cool to add these Swedes to that list. Fifteen minutes prior to Ghost taking the stage for the biggest show of their young history to date this happened:



I will never say or post anything publicly to ruin Ghost's mystique... but I will say that I have talked to the Nameless Ghouls with their hoods off.. and I've had conversations with Papa Emeritus. TERRIFYING.. Why even worry about what the band members look like?? Why speculate if they're really Satanic? Who fucking cares. Suspend reality you bitter jaded fucks.

Ghost are not simply another band who wears costumes and masks onstage. They have great songs with fantastic melodies and lyrics and an overtly theatrical approach that makes them more than simply a "Metal band". They entertain instead of simply playing songs and that's something very, very few bands do these days. Ghost remind me that sometimes a band can simply be F-U-N... and the fact that they present themselves in a retro Hammer Films horror darkness way with a Satanic wrapper has made me even more of a fan. It's not a sin to smile at a Metal show... especially if the band is singing about Satan.

If you bought one of every Ghost merch item you would have paid $210. The merch Ghost sold was awesome; their merch company totally rules. On the way back to San Francisco, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. I sold my soul for Lock 'N Loll...

"Recite now from the text... pray for all to die."

The exciting sequel to No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn!

A million years ago back in The Old Metal Days I was penpals with a Metalhead in St. Louis named Trace Rayfield. Besides the usual penpal activities such as tape trading, Trace also contributed to my fanzine Whiplash. I remember Trace sending me a photo of him hanging out with Bon Scott (!) but I never got the full story about the encounter. Fast forward to the 21st Century and, for the first time ever, Trace tells his amazing AC/DC war story. Kidz these days don't even fucking know...


On the morning of May 18, 1979, my friends Wade, Mark, and I made our first Rock ‘N Roll road trip. Little did we know that this day would be one of the most memorable days of our lives. AC/DC were set to co-headline with UFO in Springfield, Illinois (a mere 100 miles from St. Louis). We had become rabid AC/DC fans ever since we heard the title track of Let There Be Rock on KSHE-95 in our hometown of St. Louis, Missouri. We were also UFO fans and had seen them a few times already, but since Michael Schenker was now out of the band our interest had waned. This was all about the opportunity to see Bon, Angus, and the boys.

We were armed with only three things: The name and addresses of the venue, the location of the motel that booked the bands, and the local record store that sold tickets. We were confident that we would be able to score tickets the day of the show since we figured a cow town like Springfield wouldn’t have much of a Rock scene.

“UFO & AC/DC live at The Armory tonight SOLD OUT,” read the sign on the record storefront when we arrived. Guess this cow town rocked after all. Devastated, we ventured off to the Bel-Air Motel where the band was supposedly staying. We thought maybe we could still try and get our albums signed since we had come all this way.

After sitting in the parking lot for a short time we saw an out of date tour bus pull up. As we stared with anticipation, out popped Bon, Angus, Malcolm, Phil, and Cliff! What a thrill to finally see and talk to our Rock Heroes! Road haggard and all, they took the time to sign all of our albums and homemade posters. Wade had even made a scrapbook of all the articles that we ran across in the press, which they found appealing since some of the stuff they hadn’t even seen.


We explained our situation about the sold out show and how we traveled 100 miles and all. I don’t remember if it was the Road Manager or one of the band members that told us not to worry they would take care of us. We just looked at each other like "Holy Shit!". Could this get any better or what? As the band retreated to their rooms to clean up for the show, Malcolm asked us if we wanted to hear the new album. We were like, “What new album?" and Malcom said "Highway To Hell. We’ve got a tape of it on the tour bus." Okay this isn’t really happening. AC/DC left us on their tour bus, alone, and we listened to their new album, months before the U.S. release.


Of course we were snapping pictures all along the way. No digital cameras back then so eventually we ran out of film. After a while the band, one by one, started to get back on the bus. Oh, who’s this guy? Just Pete Way of UFO there to share a drink with Cliff and Bon.


We followed the bus to the venue and basically went right in with the band and crew before being given backstage passes by their Road Manager.


We started watching the show from the wings before a roadie suggested we move out front where we could see better. They proceeded to deal out a blistering set of pre-Highway To Hell classics. To be honest, I don’t even remember seeing UFO that night, but I’m sure we stuck around to see their set. We were just so amped up, anticipating our return to the Bel-Air Motel.

We might have been getting a little greedy here, but we thought, what the hell, let’s see if any of the band are hanging around. All of the band members were cordial, but Bon definitely came off as the friendliest, so we thought let’s knock on his door and see if he would be interested in a cold beverage from our cooler. Jackpot.

Eventhough Bon had a groupie with him he was more than happy to invite us into his room to chat. It didn’t hurt that we had a cooler full of cold beers. We proceeded to grill Bon about the stories behind some of our favorite songs, like 'TNT', 'Dog Eat Dog', and of course, 'Whole Lotta Rosie'. When asked about the only appearance the band had made in our hometown of St. Louis on the Let There Be Rock Tour at the 21 and over rock club Mississippi Nights (we couldn’t go because we didn’t have our fake ID’s yet and we vowed to never miss another show there, and we didn’t). Bon had vivid memories of that night because the band brawled with the club staff after the show. Not sure what started the brawl but it was inconsequential to the story. That was the band's reputation. Oddly enough, Bon almost got into it again next time he would be in St. Louis. More on that in a minute. Anyway, the current “Rosie” was getting a little anxious so we figured we better get out of there. We told Bon we hoped to see him again soon and shook hands goodbye.

Fast forward to July 1st of that same year. AC/DC was set to open for up and coming arena rock band Triumph at Kiel Auditorium in St. Louis. No lack of tickets for this one. We moved early and got 2nd row center. Thanks to my friend Wade’s due diligence we located the band's hotel in advance. The three of us arrived at the now defunct Roadway Inn in downtown St. Louis. At least it was a proper hotel this time. We had more albums to get signed that we had picked up since our last meeting (we grabbed every import or special edition we could find). This didn’t go unnoticed by the band. They were surprised that we had some of the Australian imports. Slowly the band appeared one by one and obliged our autograph requests. Again, Bon was the one to hang around and chat with some of his biggest fans.


Needless to say, the show that the boys put on trumped the headliners even with all of Triumph’s lights and pyro. After the show, we made it back to the hotel to see if we might get lucky enough to run across Bon. When we saw Bon’s lady acquaintance we didn’t like our chances of hanging out with him this time because she was smokin’ hot. Not to worry, Bon said "Come on up boys and bring the cooler!" Wow, here we go again. We saved some film this time to document the experience.


As we were enjoying some hometown brew (Busch beer), we noticed a large bandage on Bon’s big toe so we asked what happened. It seems Bon’s lady friend used to tag along with Rik Emmitt (Triumph’s front man). Well I guess she told Bon that Emmitt didn’t think much of Bon’s stage persona or his vocal talents. I guess sometime backstage Bon confronted Mr. Emmitt with the intention of kickin’ his ass back to Canada. Well Rik realized he wouldn’t look too good with a black eye on stage, so he quickly denied, recanted, or whatever to avoid a beating. Somewhere along the way, Bon’s foot and a large lamp collided resulting in much blood shed. This same story (albeit Rik Emmitt’s version) can be heard on KSHE-95’s “Real Rock Museum” on their website. Good stuff.


We proceeded to empty our cooler with Bon, although he did ask if we had anything harder than beer. We got a good laugh out of that at least for the time being. After another hour or so we went on our merry way with memories to last a lifetime. Here it is almost 33 years later and I’m writing about this for the first time!

We hoped we had a friend for life in Bon. We didn’t have any idea how popular AC/DC might get in the future, but we held out hope that Bon would still remember the kids with the cooler. All of that came to a sudden, shocking end when we heard the announcement early the next year, February 20th, on KSHE’s 5 o’clock evening news that Bon had been found dead after a hard night of drinking. Unfortunately, his friends did have something harder than beer that night.

Rest in Peace Bon, we’ll bring our cooler when we see you on the other side.


"Living easy.. living free.. season ticket on a one way ride..."

While out and about the other day I happened to walk past 2 young hipster dudes just as one of them said:

"I once fell asleep at a Metallica concert.."

That random quote inspired this:

John: "My dad fell asleep at a 1980 Van Halen concert he took me to."

Chris: "I fell asleep during Joshua Redman's set at Zellerbach Hall last year, which was sad because I was really enjoying it. Proof I'd been working too hard."

Suzee: "I fell asleep at a Flipper show at The Mabuhay Gardens.. Had been up all night prior keeping a friend from swimming in the ocean."

Umlaut: "I fell asleep during Journey at a 1980 Day On The Green after Black Sabbath, Cheap Trick, and Molly Hatchet had played.."


Greg: "I have a friend who left the recent D.R.I. show early because he fell asleep standing up. He is notorious for this.. When Judas Priest toured with the reunited Anthrax we found him passed out in a port-o-john before Priest."

Devin: "I slept on the back of Tom Hunting's drum riser during a 45 minute Exodus set."

Tom: "I fell asleep at Hot Tuna Electric at The Warfield in the balcony, well into their 3rd hour. Got a good doze, woke up and they were still playing. I left. For all I know they're still playing."

Chris: "I fell asleep at Def Leppard years ago.."

Tony: "I fell asleep during a L.A. Guns set as they were opening for AC/DC..."

Brad: "I slept through most of a Megadeth set at Ruthie's Inn when they were a 3-piece.. They weren't great, but it wasn't them, I'd done an all nighter or two for final exams that week and refused anything stronger than Peet's Coffee to keep awake."

Shaxul: "I was so fucked up when I arrived at Thrash of the Titans in 2001 I sat hunched over, drooling, passing out and then waking up only to fight the urge to puke. I finally recovered at the end of Death Angel's set I think. I missed everything before that. Didn't drink Jameson for years afterwards."

Cyndy: "I was working my ass off, in a heat wave, on tour with the Rolling Stones in 2003. I knew I was going to doze off during one of the shows in Paris, so I strategically propped myself up on some road cases and managed to sleep standing up. I was busted when my boss came over and asked me a question. My coworkers ribbed me about that for months."

Laura: "Day On The Green 1982 with The Who and The Clash. Got in line the night before, slept outside the gates all night waiting to be first in line. I stayed awake for most of The Clash, which I hated, and then fell asleep for The Who. Never again."

And finally, The Man... The Myth... The Legend:

Tour Manager Doug: "April 30, 1984 - Slept through Bon Jovi opening for Scorpions at the Cow Palace, I don't really remember why I was so tired, although I think I spent the night in my car in the parking lot, so that might explain it."

"September 10-14, 1985 - I don't remember exactly which show it was, but back in my t-shirt selling days Rising Force played Austin - McAllen - Corpus Christi - San Antonio - Dallas on consecutive nights. I drove between shows, so I tended to not get much sleep. At one of those shows I was so tired that I grabbed a power nap on top of the merch table during Yngwie's set. I knew that I wouldn't make it through the entire show without falling asleep, and there was nobody to cover for me, and I was worried about shirts getting stolen, so I stacked all of my stock on the table and slept until somebody woke me up to buy a shirt near the end of the show. I think I may have written a sign the said "Wake me up if you want to buy something"."

"March 4, 1989 - A Flock Of Seagulls - FM Station, North Hollywood - I had a bad cold, after the band went on I slept in the tour motor home until the show was over and we needed to load out. I live about 1/2 a mile from that building now."

The final night of 1985 in San Francisco:


Although the flyer listed Anthrax as being on the bill they cancelled and did not play. In reality MEGADETH opened the show. So, Metallica and Mustaine shared the stage again MUCH earlier than most people think. It's absolutely true and the official timeline on the Megadeth website comfirms it. Also, the headliner played 'Master Of Puppets' for the first time that night; here's what it sounded like:

According to the Metallica website they have now played the song over 1,375 times since that New Year's Eve in their hometown. Meanwhile back in the 21st Century, I really need to listen to some new music in 2012... my head has been stuck in the past too much this year.

"End of passion play... crumbling away.."

To quote Metallica: "Welcome to where time stands still..."

Long story short: 2011 was a surreal and amazingly great year for Umlaut. A profoundly huge amount of events and things came full circle in my life this year... most of which can basically be traced to the release of Murder In The Front Row. The book was meant to be a yearbook and tribute to the original Metal days in The Bay Area... and I think it accomplishes that... but enough shameless self-promotion. Ironically (or maybe not) Umlaut's sign in the Chinese Horoscope is The Rabbit and 2011 was The Year Of The Rabbit. Maybe there is something to the superstitious mumbo jumbo of my Yellow ancestors after all.

I've said this many times in the past, but I rant in this space mainly to keep my mind sharp; I like putting words together. The fact that I mainly rant about bands and music is kind of secondary. I rant here for fun and I just do my own thing. Umlaut will continue to fight the hordes, sing and cry, and we will see what the next 8,760 hours bring.

I will now quote that British band: "Let The Music be your Master, will you heed The Master's call?"... and with those words, here's my 2011 scorecard:

The last part of this year has been a blur and, for the first time in the 7+ year history of this blog, I blew off ranting about some amazing shows. To be honest, I hit a wall with writing and ranting... but I'll do my best to salvage something right here, right now.

2011 Shows: I'd say my favorites were (in no specific order)...

The year started off with two of my all-time favorite bands, the Melvins and Neurosis, obliterating San Francisco with sets that transcended being merely "concerts". In a year where I was submerged in my past a good amount of the time, looking back at these shows reminds me where I went after the Old Metal Days and where I ended up. In a perfect world these shows would have come at the end of the year instead of at the very beginning.

I caught Motörhead at two stops on their never-ending tour in Boston and San Francisco; my 14th and 15th Motörhead shows for those keeping score. It's still a charge for me to see Lemmy, Phil, and Mikkey onstage.. but this was my highlight from these shows in Boston:

Rammstein was the greatest spectacle I saw all year and it was made even more amazing because I was in Frankfurt, Germany the day before the show... and Prince was hands down the most talented musician I saw this year. The man has more musical talent in his little finger than all Death Metal musicians combined. There... I said it.

I witnessed sets by my friends Acid King, Black Cobra, and Landmine Marathon that were among the best that I've seen them play. In a year where I revisited the old days with bands from my past, it was so awesome to stay connected with newer bands who I'm friends with NOW. The past isn't that bad, but I've found myself feeling weird about mentally spending so much time there. Meanwhile back in the 21st Century...

I saw Metallica 6x this year; the last time I saw them that many times in 365 days was back in 1983. This included the band's 4-night, 30th Anniversary celebration at The Fillmore here in San Francisco on December 5th, 7th, 9th, and 10th. These shows were completely overwhelming to me. The band treated this event in the same way they had 2 years ago for their Rock 'N Roll Hall of Fame induction... They sought out and invited as many original fans as possible... which made the shows feel like the high school reunions I've never attended.

Unfortunately WAY too much happened at these shows for me to attempt to relate here, but you can get all of the details about the amazing guest appearances on the Internets. What made the shows overwhelming to me was not just what happened onstage. The most epic aspect of the week was that SO MANY old friends from near and far were at The Fillmore; I saw friends in double digits every night... I reconnected with old friends... was able to hang out with local friends... and I even met friends from back in The Day who I'd never met face-to-face before. AMAZING. These shows went a long way to wash the bile from my mind that was created by the bizarre corporate gig that I saw Metallica play back on August 31st.

I will say that the absolute musical highlight was MERCYFUL FATE reuniting onstage for the first time in 18 YEARS!! HOLY. FUCK. I knew that it was happening in advance... but when King Diamond, Hank Shermann, Michael Denner, and Timi Hansen walked onstage I lost it. At that exact moment a kid wearing a denim vest covered with band patches pushed past me and I instinctively followed him all the way to the front. As Metalli-Fate launched into the 'Mercyful Fate' medley everyone down front was singing along, including me, and it felt like 1984 all over again! "Howl like a wolf... and a witch will open the door!" Dude, I almost started crying. Seriously. Fate were a VERY special band for alot of us back in the original Murder In The Front Row Metal days... and to see them again left me speechless... literally... because I ended up losing my voice over the next couple of days due to the late nights combined with a long term cold / cough that I was battling. The Fate reunion was made even more profound because The Fillmore is practically across the street from where the Kabuki Theater used to be. In 1984 Fate played their first San Francisco show there and before the encore that night King summoned Metallica to the stage; Lars, James, and Cliff climbed out of the crowd to air guitar. Full circle, man. Full circle.

Anyway, my brain is starting to get overwhelmed again so I'm not going to rant here much longer... but I do need to add that SLAYER were the most METAL band I saw this year; the more things change the more they stay the same. Their performances at The Big 4 show in Indio and later in Seattle with Gary Holt standing in for Hannemann were pure magic. The fact that Gary has been playing with Slayer after all these years is so Murder In The Front Row full circle it's mindblowing... There is so much history there; when Kerry King joined Exodus onstage in Seattle for 'Strike Of The Beast' it basically symbolized everything that's been going on for me this year. SLAAAYEER!! Also, it was appropriate that the final show I saw this year was a sold out D.R.I. show on December 16th with my co-author Harald O. tearing it up on his home stage the week that our book came out. Special.

However, The Rock Godz work in mysterious ways and my year did end in the same Umlaut Real World vein that it began. Iggy & the Stooges played a show in the middle of the Metallica - Fillmore run on December 6th and it could not have been more perfect for me. From my arrival at The Warfield's entrance to my Lower Loge seat I ran into a roommate from 20 years ago... 6 or 7 friends... a reporter who interviewed me about Murder In The Front Row... a stranger who recognized me because she reads my blog... and my boss who I thought was still on a plane flying back from London... and then Iggy & the Stooges destroyed San Francisco.

The latest incarnation of the Stooges detonated onstage with ‘Raw Power’ that went straight into ‘Search And Destroy’ and the energy was unrelenting for the next 80 minutes. Iggy is 64 years old (young) but he was in the crowd at least 7x during the set. By comparison, Marianne Faithfull is also 64 years old but she didn't even attempt to dive into the crowd during her guest appearance with Metallica at The Fillmore. Just saying..

Witnessing Iggy’s surreal and timeless energy in person has always made me think that anything is possible. As unbelievably special as the Metallica shows were, the energy level was nowhere close to being as raw and primal as what the Stooges created both onstage and in the crowd. As the Stooges raced through 'Search And Destroy' it was as if they were channeling all of the angst and anger ever experienced by every person in the room. As Metallica started 'Seek And Destroy' as the final song each night at The Fillmore it signaled a balloon drop. It was disappointing that the most violent crowd action at all the Metallica - Fillmore shows happened during the balloon drop as greedy fans fought each other for the commemorative coins that were in the balloons. 'Seek And Destroy' made me want to fuck shit up back in the Murder In The Front Row days; now it's the balloon and beach ball drop song at Metallica concerts. Sad... but true.

Just as the Melvins and Neurosis had reminded me of my post-Old Metal self at the beginning of the year, seeing Iggy again did the same thing for me at the end of this crazy year. "I'm the world's forgotten boy... The one who searches and destroys.." On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. Upon returning to Casa de Umlaut after the Stooges show I made toast.

2011 Reality Check Moment:

Anyway, this has been my quick 'n dirty review of 2011... THANKS for all the support, readers and friends. 2012 will mark the 8th Anniversary of this space... so let's see what happens next. I'll see you on the other side.

On display at The Fillmore in San Francisco during Metallica's residency there this week to celebrate the band's 30th Anniversary:


The sign reads: "This was the last bass he played 9/26/1986". It still has the last set of strings that he touched on it.

"Hypnotizing power... crushing all that cower.."

One day last week I found myself standing in front of this:


What is it? Well kidz... It's the stage back drop from Metallica's 1984-85 Ride The Lightning World Tour.


"Guilty as charged.. but damn it.. it ain't right.."

Many thanks to Umlaut’s old friend Trace Rayfield for this! I remember this photo from back in The Day and he recently resent it to me… Time travel rules! Trace interviewed Lars and James for my fanzine Whiplash; it was probably their first interview after Kirk joined the band. Oh, and the interview was recorded in a moving car… but I’ll let Trace tell the story:
"This picture was taken in the parking lot of the record store Rock 'N Roll Heaven in New Jersey. This was the beginning of my 4 hour odyssey with James and Lars including the Whiplash interview. We then went to the record store Zig Zag for an in-store appearance and ended up at L'Amours in Brooklyn for an Anvil show. In between was a comical drive through the streets of Brooklyn with lots of beer drinking and bad directions from the locals. Two kids from California and two kids from the Midwest lost in Brooklyn. Of course, the more beer we drank, the more lost we got. The happy ending was we made it before Anvil hit the stage and I got my interview."

An excerpt from Trace's 1983 interview:

WHIPLASH: HOW DO YOU GUYS LIKE THE EAST COAST SO FAR?

JAMES: Not as good as San Francisco.

LARS: The bangers out here aren't as fanatic.

JAMES: They don't get into mobs and bang like out in 'Frisco.

WHIPLASH: HOW DO THE AUDIENCES DIFFER ON THE EAST COAST FROM THE WEST COAST?

LARS: They just aren't as crazy. Fuckin' out there in San Francisco the first ten rows is just hair and sweat and bobbing heads. They're just fuckin' all over each other, but maybe it will be the same here soon 'cause we've only done a few gigs out here so far. The crowds are still kind of checking us out where as out there (in San Francisco) it's like home turf.

JAMES: L.A. was the fuckin' worst.

No Sleep 'Til.....

Pre-orders can still be made HERE directly from Bazillion Points.

Advance copies have arrived... which means it's only 33 days until this spawn is unleashed... Pre-orders can still be made HERE.

[ http://www.youtube.com/embed/NgsvkDjRx1k?rel=0 ]

"Murder in the front row crowd begins to bang
And there's blood upon the stage
Bang your head against the stage
And metal takes its price
Bonded by blood!"

Warbringer / Lazarus A.D. / Landmine Marathon
Thee Parkside, San Francisco
November 7, 2011

It's not often that I've witnessed the first show of a tour and the last show of a tour... but that's what happened with the America Torn Asunder Tour featuring this packaged bill. A little over a month ago I attended the tour's first date down in Hollywood. The bands were all fresh faced, their merch bins full, and their equipment prepped and ready for over a month on the road. Now 38 days later the tour steamed into San Francisco for the 37th and final show of the trek. Damn, 37 shows in 38 days. I expected the bands to look pretty crispy when I saw them again… and they were… and some of their equipment was no longer alive.. but their merch bins were almost empty… which is a good thing.

Thee Parkside is a special venue for Umlaut when it comes to my kindred spirit band Landmine Marathon because it's where I was first exposed to their blow torch ways onstage. Fast forward over 2 years and 12 shows later and it was cool to see Landmine within these familiar confines again. Tonight would be my lucky 13th time seeing the band. Landmine were welcomed back to San Francisco with the traditional box of Mission burritos that touring bands have coveted since time immemorial.

As Ryan Landmine and I went to the Prius that was parked on a dark side street to retrieve the foil wrapped jewels it felt like I was making a drug delivery to the band. For those who care, Landmine's burrito setlist was:
METAL.. Don't worry, the box was made from free range cardboard.

Truth be told, this was more of a hang out session than a gig… I was only there to see Landmine and the night took an unexpectedly old school social turn when I discovered that Rafa Black Cobra and Gary Holt and his entourage were in the house. Gary was literally just off the plane back from Austin where he had sat in with Slayer again at the final show of their World Painted Blood Tour. Much old school conversation ensued and I decided that Gary needs a History Channel show called You Weren't There where he will debunk all the myths about The Old Metal Days.


Landmine Marathon killed it. Tonight was the 13th time I've seen Landmine and they were firing on all cylinders from the opening notes of 'Three Snake Leaves'. The first night of the tour 38 days earlier had been somewhat shaky, but tonight the grueling 912 hours that had passed since that first show detonated for this last show. It was one of the most focused sets I’ve seen Landmine play... No bullshit... 7 songs… 40 minutes.. blow torch volume… decent crowd action.. Thank you, g’night! While I missed hearing some of the old set list standards, the 3 news songs were confidently brutal and felt broken in from the month of working them out on the road. I've said it before: Great band... great people... and Gary Holt even liked them. So there you go...


Sorry, I don’t like Lazarus A.D... so the outdoor patio of Thee Parkside was a welcome refuge as they entertained the crowd inside. I don’t mind Warbringer; they seem like good dudes and they’re definitely Road Dogs when it comes to touring. I had heard they added a cover of MotÓ§rhead’s ‘We Are The Road Crew’ to their set since the opening night of the tour. When they started into that classic I went in to watch some of their set from that point. Again, Warbringer are a good band but it's just that I've seen it before... in 1983. Honesty is my only excuse.

If you bought one of every Landmine Marathon merch item you would have spent around $95. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. The burrito drop was handled the old fashioned way: Via the barter system.. will delivery burritos for t-shirts and vinyl.


Click HERE to see Photo Ray's shots from the night!

Mastodon / The Dillinger Escape Plan / Red Fang
The Warfield, San Francisco, CA
November 3, 2011

This was one of the most solid bills of the year and basically all killer, no filler for Umlaut. At this point in my life, I'm an old jaded fart and I don't pay attention if others think a band is "Hipster Metal" or whatever; if I like a band I could give two shits about what you think about them... and if being labeled "Hipster Metal" means a band of Mastodon's caliber can go from playing clubs to headlining a theater and make a living being musicians, than what's the problem? Anyway, most of my shows this month have revolved around work, which is fine because it's always good when a show is this easy:

I like Red Fang a lot and they seemed to win over the large venue with their Oregonian brand of bearded Rock. Their 30 minutes of boogie sludge flew by, which was a bummer… but not as big of a bummer as when I found out Red Fang had to sell their shirts for $30 tonight. It’s not the band’s fault for the pricing, but it was a reality check about the downside of playing a major venue. I'm looking forward to when Red Fang comes back through town and can sell their tees for $15.

To be honest, I'm not as enamored with Dillinger Escape Plan since I realized they basically copped their sound from Rorschach. However, they're still one of the best live bands going. Dillinger attack a stage like a serial killer with a hunting knife and it's hypnotic to watch the members fly around the stage, up onto the backline, up onto PA stacks, leaping into the air, leaping into the crowd. I always wonder how Dillinger keeps their stage intensity up over an entire tour; they probably do yoga or something. The crowd's 45 minute stint in the Dillinger kill zone was rewarded with the special appearance of Mike Patton on guest vocals; an "only in San Francisco" moment, right? Dillinger are still one of my don't miss live bands; it still feels like anything can happen during their set... and that "anything" usually ends up with people getting bruised.

Outside of the venue I was surprised to see as many as 6 bootleg vendors selling Mastodon tees. Odd. It’s not like Mastodon are AC/DC and the show was not sold out. I should bring this up with the band’s merch company….. Anyway, Mastodon sounded unbelievably great tonight and kudos to their soundman. There's a lot going on when Mastodon are in full roar and the mix was crystal clear and booming out front. Oddly, Mastodon posted the setlist they're playing on this tour on their website. After watching the start of their set from near the soundboard, I found myself at stage left for a couple of songs... and you know you're at a show in San Francisco when Jello Biafra and Matt Pike are standing next to you.


However, watching a band from onstage is overrated, so for the last part of their 90 minute set I went back out front. As you can see from the posted setlist 'Blood & Thunder' was the final song of the set as it has been for awhile. It was a solid, solid set and it was good to witness Mastodon finally headlining a big stage because I've been following them for a long time... despite what the haters think.

The show was also a Who's Who of Bay Area Rock with 1/2 of Black Cobra, 1/4 of the Dead Kennedys, 1/5 of Faith No More, 2/3 of High On Fire, 1/3 of Papa Wheelie, and 1/4 of Metallica in the house. However, my biggest Music Geek moment happened as I was walking past a table backstage and recognized a member of the band Gallows… I stopped and said “GALLOWS!” and the guy, Laurent (guitar), looked surprised to be recognized. Long story short, Gallows had the day off in S.F. and were playing the next night; I chatted with Laurent for a good while about his band. Unfortunately, Gallows recently got a new singer which was a buzz kill for me... so I felt kind of bad not seeing their S.F. show the next night... but I just wasn't feeling seeing the band with a new front man. Honesty is my only excuse.. bummer.

Oh, cheers to the guy who walked past me at the downstairs bar and shouted "UMLAUT!!" and shook my hand. I think I know what SLAAAYER feels like now. Thanks, dude!

Anyway, I didn't do a merch audit tonight... although Mastodon had the best merch IMO. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called me a fag. Pop culture trivia learned during backstage hang tonight: That band guy is dating that porn star.

Halloween 1983.. The Keystone in Palo Alto, California. Metallica had finished their debut U.S. Tour supporting Raven almost 2 months earlier with a trio of triumphant hometown shows in Palo Alto, Berkeley, and San Francisco; this was their first headlining hometown area gig in 7 months. It was also the first time 'Fight Fire With Fire' and 'Ride The Lightning' were played live... A rather historic moment, right? The show was a Metal Monday show sponsored by local Rock radio station KOME 98.5 (R.I.P.) and the ticket price that night was $5.98 (geddit!?).

There was a costume contest before Metallica went on, but I can't remember what the winning costume was and, NO, Metallica did NOT wear costumes onstage like every other band who plays on Halloween. However, for those who care the setlist that night was:
'When Hell Freezes Over' was an early version of the instrumental 'Call Of Ctulu' that ended up on the Ride The Lightning album. Less than 3 months after this show Metallica left for their first European Tour... and things were never the same.

Shameless self-promotion: Live and backstage photos from this night will be seen in Murder In The Front Row...

Judas Priest
Sleep Train Pavilion, Concord, CA
October 27, 2011


When it was announced earlier this year that K.K. Downing had left Judas Priest on the eve of their "Farewell" Tour I decided there was no way I wanted to see them again. K.K. and Glenn Tipton have been the most enduring axe duo in Metal; for me and most of you reading this we've never known a time when that guitar team was not blazing the planet. Now that team is no more. I decided there was no fucking way I was going to this show.

Then days before the show I was put on a guest list via work... What's a good Priest song to symbolize me being a hypocrite?

Unbelievably horrible traffic out to Concord as usual but zero drama at Will Call = A trade off. Calling a band Thin Lizzy without Phil Lynott is a complete abomination and I want no part of it; but we arrived late and completely missed their set anyway. I can't stand Black Label Society; evidently Zakk Wylde wore an Indian head dress onstage this time. I thought he was from New Jersey?? I'm so glad he's not "part" Chinese so he doesn't wear a coolie hat onstage. Thankfully my mates and I spent most of their set eating some dubious venue food and having a beer. Then I had some work related responsibilities to take care of so I ducked backstage, but it was all good. Just another day at the office...
I reemerged into the Real World from the magical world of Backstage mere minutes before Priest were due to take the stage. After being directed around a couple of times by ushers we found ourselves in 4th row seats, dead center. To be honest, the seats made up for K.K. not being in the building; this was my 7th time seeing Priest and I've never been that close to the stage. Sorry K.K... but I can be fickle and shallow like that. "I'm made of Metal.. My circuits gleam.."

The focus on this "Farewell" Tour is that Priest are playing at least one song off of every studio album. A VERY cool idea... if only they'd done this when K.K. was in the band! Anyway we were only in our seats for a couple of minutes, beers in hand, before the houselights went down... the intro tape started... the curtain covering the stage fell... and Priest were right in front of us as 'Rapid Fire' announced the start of the set. It was fucking awesome... until I glanced to the left side of the stage and saw Fake K.K... Buzz kill.. However, I quickly got into the mindset that I was going to have a good time instead of obsessing on K.K.'s absence... and thankfully Priest made it easy by going from 'Rapid Fire' into 'Metal Gods' into 'Heading Out To The Highway'. I sipped on my beer and sang along like the aging Metalhead that I am... and it was good.


The high point of the 21-song set for Umlaut was the one-two nostalgic punch of 'Starbreaker' (HOLY SHIT.. They played 'Starbreaker'!) that went into 'Victim Of Changes'. The latter is probably my favorite Priest song and watching the middle solo without K.K. playing it felt wrong even with lasers lighting up the stage... but I still sang along to it. For whatever reason, Slayer and Judas Priest are the only bands that cause me to sing along when I see them live. I have no idea why. Discuss amongst yourselves. However, watching dozens of dudes singing along with Halford to 'Turbo Lover' made me think of a 70's San Francisco bath house... not that there's anything wrong with that.

Because I like to nitpick, I was bummed that the Rocka Rolla track performed was 'Never Satisfied' which Halford had performed on his solo tour last year. However, I tried to stay focused on having fun instead of being a jaded old fart... and the return of 'Beyond The Realms Of Death' to the setlist had me singing along again.. "He'd found a place in his mind and slammed the door..." still gets me every time after all these years, man.

Although I hate to admit it, this was the most F-U-N show of the year! Probably due to the beers, but I made the mental leap and simply got caught up in the songs and tried to ignore Fake K.K. onstage as much as possible. Granted, Fake K.K. did a good job... but it just wasn't the same... but I had F-U-N despite myself. I genuinely felt like I was that 16-year old Judas Priest fan again. "Breaking the what?!"


Although I should have, I didn't do a merch audit, but Priest did have the best merch IMO. On the way back to the car, some pimply-faced teenagers called us fags. Going into the show I ignored any spoiler posts online about the setlist... but I ran into Gary Holt in the concourse before the show and he blew it for me when he rattled off some of the songs Priest were going to play (Exodus had just supported Priest in Poland in August..). Thanks, Gary.

Click HERE to see Photo Ray's shots from the night!