After Dark: Nightlife in Denver
by Kat Valentine King  Fulcrum Publishing  $12.95

Publishing a bar guide is a venture beset with problems. First, the scene changes so quickly the guide starts slouching toward obsolescence the instant it rolls off the presses. Bars come and go at a near-maniacal pace, drink specials mutate from week to week, and unless you intend to release a new edition every year or so, the guide quickly becomes a faded snapshot of what was, as opposed to what is.

Even more problematic, it takes a tremendous  amount of courage to honestly review places you regularly drink in. Which is why such books are best left to outsiders, cold-hearted mercenaries who do their work without a thought toward whose feelings they might be hurting.

As far as Denver’s nightlife is concerned Kat Valentine King is most certainly not an outsider. She has been an entertainment writer and woman-about-town since 2000, and she is undoubtedly on friendly terms with the staff and owners of many of the bars and clubs she writes about in her guide. And there lies the rub.

Denver’s trendier bars tend to get the most space in her guide, oddly enough. Three pages will be dedicated to a club that opened mere months ago (and probably will be shut in as many more), while venerable dives that have impacted Denver’s nightlife since the middle of the last century, such as Club 404 and the Lion’s Lair, are summed up with a single sentence fragment, if she deigns to mention them at all.

In her defense, King’s myopia toward Denver’s less flashy bars might be attributed to the blinding light of excellence radiating from the bars she does write about. About 20 pages into the book you begin to get the feeling that Ms. King isn’t the least bit interested in stepping on anyone’s toes. Of the 100-plus establishments examined, there isn’t a single bad review. There isn’t a single lukewarm review.

I am of the opinion that one could lure King into a flame-engulfed shack, tell her it’s a bar, and she’d gush, “It’s a tiny bit warm, but don’t let that stop you from enjoying this truly unique bar experience. The falling rafters are quick to light a lady’s smoke, and the bed of embers make you want to dance the night away with one of the hunky firemen hanging around, especially if your feet catch on fire. And don’t let the smoke get in your eyes or you’ll miss the wildest light show this side of Broadway!”

King has apparently never met a bar she didn’t like. Which is perhaps commendable on a personal level, but hardly makes for effective bar criticism. In the end it comes off as chamber of commerce-style boosterism.

And let’s be honest, whether we’re talking about movies, books or bars, negative reviews are generally the most entertaining. More importantly, they create a sense of scale. Without some honest dishing of the dirt, all the sugar being shoveled starts to stick in the craw. Years ago, when King was charged with reviewing local bands for a Denver daily, she wasn’t so demure about writing a negative opinion, and one wishes she would have brought the same courage to this book.

After Dark is the Special Olympics of bar guides—there are no losers and in the end every competitor gets a gold medal and a big hug. Which is all fine and dandy, and will undoubtedly earn King many a free drink, but with praise being heaped about so arbitrarily and lavishly it’s impossible to decide which bars you might actually care to visit.

Because apparently you can stroll into any joint in town and expect to be wowed right off your bar stool.—Frank Kelly Rich