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August 2nd, 2010
12:37 am - Methodist email--does the size of the church really matter?
Every Monday morning (or late Sunday night), I'm greeted with an email entitled "Monday Morning in North GA". It's sent out by one of the head guys in the North GA Conference of the United Methodist Church. Most of you know that I converted to Catholicism about 8 or 9 years ago, and that I worked for the N. GA Conference a few years ago. Sometimes these emails really bug me because my perspective has changed so much.
Growing up in the Methodist church, I felt that it was the church's responsibility to make me feel important to the church. The church should give me a job and recognize my talents, whatever they may be. If I stopped feeling important to that church, then what was the point in my being there? They weren't making me feel fulfilled.
This latest "Monday Morning" said: "...But everyone does not automatically feel valued regardless of the size of the congregation. Churches with a lot of members have to work hard to be sure that every individual is known, cared for, and afforded a place of service. I have experienced various methods that help folks feel at home and want to become a part of churches where it is impossible for everyone to know your name. And I have been a part of small membership churches where people were intentional about their relationships and offering everyone a genuine welcome."
Catholic churches are notoriously large. They have to be. There's not one on every corner. The Catholic Church makes 1 point very clear--Mass is about the Eucharist. If you have a need to feel important, there's a list of committees in every bulletin. Go join one. Be an adult and take charge of your feelings, and don't expect the priest(s), deacon(s), or anyone else running that church to call you up and see how you're doing, unless there's an ongoing situation. This is of course a little different where kids are concerned. I'm just talking about the adults here. Take some personal responsibility for yourself.
I'm reminded of something my mom once said. She was talking about an argument with a good friend who said "you're not making me happy". And mom suddenly thought, "why am I responsible for this person's happiness?" And she was right. We are all only responsible for our own happiness. We cannot "make" someone be happy. Think about it for a minute. And then think about the church. If we cannot make each other be happy, why should we expect a church, made up of people, to make us feel any particular way? We are responsible for the way we react to the Eucharist. We are responsible for our worship experience. And we are responsible for however we feel about our position (or lack thereof) within that church.
Every Monday morning (or late Sunday night), I'm greeted with an email entitled "Monday Morning in North GA". It's sent out by one of the head guys in the North GA Conference of the United Methodist Church. Most of you know that I converted to Catholicism about 8 or 9 years ago, and that I worked for the N. GA Conference a few years ago. Sometimes these emails really bug me because my perspective has changed so much.
Growing up in the Methodist church, I felt that it was the church's responsibility to make me feel important to the church. The church should give me a job and recognize my talents, whatever they may be. If I stopped feeling important to that church, then what was the point in my being there? They weren't making me feel fulfilled.
This latest "Monday Morning" said: "...But everyone does not automatically feel valued regardless of the size of the congregation. Churches with a lot of members have to work hard to be sure that every individual is known, cared for, and afforded a place of service. I have experienced various methods that help folks feel at home and want to become a part of churches where it is impossible for everyone to know your name. And I have been a part of small membership churches where people were intentional about their relationships and offering everyone a genuine welcome."
Catholic churches are notoriously large. They have to be. There's not one on every corner. The Catholic Church makes 1 point very clear--Mass is about the Eucharist. If you have a need to feel important, there's a list of committees in every bulletin. Go join one. Be an adult and take charge of your feelings, and don't expect the priest(s), deacon(s), or anyone else running that church to call you up and see how you're doing, unless there's an ongoing situation. This is of course a little different where kids are concerned. I'm just talking about the adults here. Take some personal responsibility for yourself.
I'm reminded of something my mom once said. She was talking about an argument with a good friend who said "you're not making me happy". And mom suddenly thought, "why am I responsible for this person's happiness?" And she was right. We are all only responsible for our own happiness. We cannot "make" someone be happy. Think about it for a minute. And then think about the church. If we cannot make each other be happy, why should we expect a church, made up of people, to make us feel any particular way? We are responsible for the way we react to the Eucharist. We are responsible for our worship experience. And we are responsible for however we feel about our position (or lack thereof) within that church.
July 31st, 2010
11:55 pm - Ground Zero...site for a Mosque?
Most people would say that I'm a pretty tolerant person, at least until you step over some line. Some idiots in New York are starting to step over that line. But I want to make sure I explain myself completely on this one.
1) I'm a Christian.
2) I'm an American.
3) I believe in our Constitution. This means that I believe in freedom of religion, among many other things. But this ties in with the current topic at hand.
In the New York Times today, there was an article stating that the Anti Defamation League (ADL) has decided to disagree with the proposed building of a Mosque extremely close to Ground Zero. The article states that the heated debate "highlights the intense and unsettled emotions that still surround the World Trade Center attacks". Now, I realize that the NYT has a liberal slant. But still... there's got to be a middle ground between the writing of the article as it stands and the way a Republican paper would have made that statement. Here's what I think the Republican paper would say in that one sentence: "...highlights the intense and unsettled emotions that still surround the attacks played out at the World Trade Center by radical Islamists involved in jihad against our nation".
This is, of course, exactly what happened. But I digress.
The ADL stated that they were originally in favor of building the Mosque, because they tend to side with religious freedom and temperance. But in this case, they interviewed survivors, and the friends and family of those who died. And overwhelmingly these people told the ADL that because the attack was by radical Muslims, they would have a hard time seeing Muslims--radical or not--worshipping on the ground where so many died. To these people, Ground Zero is a graveyard. It is hallowed ground.
The ADL did a lot of thinking, and a lot of it centered around their feelings about the Holocaust. The ADL feels that survivors of that horrible time in history have a right to feel every rational--and irrational--feeling they have because of what they went through. And frankly, I think they've got more insight as to how survivors and relatives of the dead at Ground Zero might be feeling than the rest of us in the country.
Let's talk about the effects of the Holocaust for a second. Imagine you're one of the lucky ones who survived. You're free. You move to America and are looking forward to starting your new life. And what happens? A blonde-haired, blue-eyed German moves next door. A "rational" person wouldn't think anything of it. But when you've lived through that kind of hell, exactly how rational are you going to be? Personally, I'd expect you to be scared. Maybe break out in a sweat every time you see or hear that person. And I'd be shocked if you didn't move somewhere else as quickly as possible.
This doesn't mean that we're not going to allow German people to be around Jewish people. That would be insane. But it means we're going to be understanding and compassionate. And that's what I'm asking for here, and what the ADL is asking for. Understand these victims. We're not saying that there shouldn't be a Mosque built anywhere in New York. We're just asking that it not be right next to Ground Zero. In fact, the ADL is just asking for it to be 1 mile away. Surely 1 mile isn't too much to ask. If it is, then I'd have to ask these moderate Muslims whether they're really doing this for their faith, or if it is strictly political.
Most people would say that I'm a pretty tolerant person, at least until you step over some line. Some idiots in New York are starting to step over that line. But I want to make sure I explain myself completely on this one.
1) I'm a Christian.
2) I'm an American.
3) I believe in our Constitution. This means that I believe in freedom of religion, among many other things. But this ties in with the current topic at hand.
In the New York Times today, there was an article stating that the Anti Defamation League (ADL) has decided to disagree with the proposed building of a Mosque extremely close to Ground Zero. The article states that the heated debate "highlights the intense and unsettled emotions that still surround the World Trade Center attacks". Now, I realize that the NYT has a liberal slant. But still... there's got to be a middle ground between the writing of the article as it stands and the way a Republican paper would have made that statement. Here's what I think the Republican paper would say in that one sentence: "...highlights the intense and unsettled emotions that still surround the attacks played out at the World Trade Center by radical Islamists involved in jihad against our nation".
This is, of course, exactly what happened. But I digress.
The ADL stated that they were originally in favor of building the Mosque, because they tend to side with religious freedom and temperance. But in this case, they interviewed survivors, and the friends and family of those who died. And overwhelmingly these people told the ADL that because the attack was by radical Muslims, they would have a hard time seeing Muslims--radical or not--worshipping on the ground where so many died. To these people, Ground Zero is a graveyard. It is hallowed ground.
The ADL did a lot of thinking, and a lot of it centered around their feelings about the Holocaust. The ADL feels that survivors of that horrible time in history have a right to feel every rational--and irrational--feeling they have because of what they went through. And frankly, I think they've got more insight as to how survivors and relatives of the dead at Ground Zero might be feeling than the rest of us in the country.
Let's talk about the effects of the Holocaust for a second. Imagine you're one of the lucky ones who survived. You're free. You move to America and are looking forward to starting your new life. And what happens? A blonde-haired, blue-eyed German moves next door. A "rational" person wouldn't think anything of it. But when you've lived through that kind of hell, exactly how rational are you going to be? Personally, I'd expect you to be scared. Maybe break out in a sweat every time you see or hear that person. And I'd be shocked if you didn't move somewhere else as quickly as possible.
This doesn't mean that we're not going to allow German people to be around Jewish people. That would be insane. But it means we're going to be understanding and compassionate. And that's what I'm asking for here, and what the ADL is asking for. Understand these victims. We're not saying that there shouldn't be a Mosque built anywhere in New York. We're just asking that it not be right next to Ground Zero. In fact, the ADL is just asking for it to be 1 mile away. Surely 1 mile isn't too much to ask. If it is, then I'd have to ask these moderate Muslims whether they're really doing this for their faith, or if it is strictly political.
July 23rd, 2010
04:43 pm - All people are created equal...
At least, this is what our constitution says. Some Christians will tell you that we're all God's children and that God loves us all equally. So I was a little perplexed by an article in today's AJC entitled Mayor reassures gay community on security. The title makes perfect sense--we've had some issues come up as of late in the Midtown area of Atlanta with gays being attacked. What did not make sense to me is that the police force now has a special group assigned to gay relations. But maybe, the more I think about it, I'm just being naive. My mom has always called me Polyanna. I look for the good things (except where I'm personally concerned) and have a hard time understanding when things aren't as I think they should be. In this case, I have a very hard time figuring out why you would treat someone differently just because of their gender, color, or adult sexual preference. Note that I said "adult sexual preference". Regardless of what some of my fellow Christians may think, I do not believe that gays are more likely to be sexual predators. I do not believe that they are one step away from being involved with animals either. Gay marriage is NOT one step away from allowing marriage between people and dogs. Some things are a slippery slope, and some things are not.
Just because I'm a Georgian, am a Republican, and am Catholic does not mean that I do not have a brain. And for the rest of my fellow citizens that share the same titles--you still have brains too. I just think you forget to use them sometimes and instead let the IDIOTS of the group tell you what to think.
At least, this is what our constitution says. Some Christians will tell you that we're all God's children and that God loves us all equally. So I was a little perplexed by an article in today's AJC entitled Mayor reassures gay community on security. The title makes perfect sense--we've had some issues come up as of late in the Midtown area of Atlanta with gays being attacked. What did not make sense to me is that the police force now has a special group assigned to gay relations. But maybe, the more I think about it, I'm just being naive. My mom has always called me Polyanna. I look for the good things (except where I'm personally concerned) and have a hard time understanding when things aren't as I think they should be. In this case, I have a very hard time figuring out why you would treat someone differently just because of their gender, color, or adult sexual preference. Note that I said "adult sexual preference". Regardless of what some of my fellow Christians may think, I do not believe that gays are more likely to be sexual predators. I do not believe that they are one step away from being involved with animals either. Gay marriage is NOT one step away from allowing marriage between people and dogs. Some things are a slippery slope, and some things are not.
Just because I'm a Georgian, am a Republican, and am Catholic does not mean that I do not have a brain. And for the rest of my fellow citizens that share the same titles--you still have brains too. I just think you forget to use them sometimes and instead let the IDIOTS of the group tell you what to think.
June 21st, 2010
09:58 am - June 26
As of this coming Saturday, Will's been gone for 13 years. It doesn't seem possible. Angela will be 33, and I'll be celebrating my 4-year wedding anniversary.
My friendship with Heath is officially over. I've been trying to breathe life into it for years but am giving up. It's stupid to be the only one working on it. Especially after driving 2.5 hours only to be made fun of to the new wife's friends.
As of this coming Saturday, Will's been gone for 13 years. It doesn't seem possible. Angela will be 33, and I'll be celebrating my 4-year wedding anniversary.
My friendship with Heath is officially over. I've been trying to breathe life into it for years but am giving up. It's stupid to be the only one working on it. Especially after driving 2.5 hours only to be made fun of to the new wife's friends.
June 3rd, 2010
12:17 pm - asdkjsf
I am not superwoman. I cannot do everything. I cannot be everywhere at once. And I am not a bad mom because of this fact.
I am not superwoman. I cannot do everything. I cannot be everywhere at once. And I am not a bad mom because of this fact.
May 28th, 2010
11:29 pm - Friday night
Train whistles, the Braves (and Cardinals), Springsteen, New Jersey. Coffee/Hot Chocolate and a funny book. Feeling free and like a kid again. And really wondering what you're thinking and knowing I have no right to ask.
Train whistles, the Braves (and Cardinals), Springsteen, New Jersey. Coffee/Hot Chocolate and a funny book. Feeling free and like a kid again. And really wondering what you're thinking and knowing I have no right to ask.
May 26th, 2010
08:56 pm - really?!
We were supposed to see the shrink on Friday, but all of her other appointments that day cancelled because of Memorial Day weekend. So she asked if we could switch to tomorrow. I called my boss to ask him if I can take a long lunch Thursday instead of Friday. While I'm talking to him, my husband yells out "we're meeting for a nooner!". Cute. Real cute. What's great is that his excuse is that my boss and I seem friendly. Um, yeah. I would say that we're friends. But we're work friends. We don't discuss our sex lives. We have an appreciation for the work each of us does, mutual respect, and we'll back each other up in a heartbeat. And yes, we care about each other like normal friends care about each other. It's all on a professional level though that needs to be maintained because Ricoh is a professional environment. Why in the world is that so hard to understand?!
We were supposed to see the shrink on Friday, but all of her other appointments that day cancelled because of Memorial Day weekend. So she asked if we could switch to tomorrow. I called my boss to ask him if I can take a long lunch Thursday instead of Friday. While I'm talking to him, my husband yells out "we're meeting for a nooner!". Cute. Real cute. What's great is that his excuse is that my boss and I seem friendly. Um, yeah. I would say that we're friends. But we're work friends. We don't discuss our sex lives. We have an appreciation for the work each of us does, mutual respect, and we'll back each other up in a heartbeat. And yes, we care about each other like normal friends care about each other. It's all on a professional level though that needs to be maintained because Ricoh is a professional environment. Why in the world is that so hard to understand?!
12:58 am - Dirty Dancing
I watched the uncut version of Dirty Dancing last night. Here's my favorite quote from the whole thing: "Me? I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I saw, I'm scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you. "
Except right now I'd really like to tell her to grow up. Feelings will fade. Although typically your heart gets trampled first, and then at some point you grow up and realize how stupid you've been.
I watched the uncut version of Dirty Dancing last night. Here's my favorite quote from the whole thing: "Me? I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I saw, I'm scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you. "
Except right now I'd really like to tell her to grow up. Feelings will fade. Although typically your heart gets trampled first, and then at some point you grow up and realize how stupid you've been.
May 24th, 2010
11:11 pm - update on Karson
I just got the latest update on Karson, and it's not good. She's taking an extended leave of absence from her job, a job that she absolutely loves. She's doing this so that she and Jason can spend more time together. I understand that completely. They've been married for right at 6 years, half of which have been spent going in and out of hospitals. They will never have children of their own. And it's likely they'll never be able to adopt because of Karson's health. Karson leaving work tells me one thing--treatments are not going well. I know she's tired and I don't blame her one bit. But I'm selfish. She's my non blood-related sister, and there's nothing I can do for her.
I just got the latest update on Karson, and it's not good. She's taking an extended leave of absence from her job, a job that she absolutely loves. She's doing this so that she and Jason can spend more time together. I understand that completely. They've been married for right at 6 years, half of which have been spent going in and out of hospitals. They will never have children of their own. And it's likely they'll never be able to adopt because of Karson's health. Karson leaving work tells me one thing--treatments are not going well. I know she's tired and I don't blame her one bit. But I'm selfish. She's my non blood-related sister, and there's nothing I can do for her.
11:46 am - Quotes
"And before she (Ruth) knew what had happened, she had slapped Idgie across the face with all her might.
Idgie looked at Ruth, speechless and stunned. They just stood there, looking at each other, and in that moment Ruth wished more than anything in the world that she could just grab her and hold her as tight as she could; but if she had, she knew she would never let go.
So Ruth did the hardest thing she had ever done in her life; she just turned around and left, and closed the door behind her."
Ruth's mother dying:
"You get away from him....Ruth, promise me. He's the devil...
...Ruth cried for her mother and, an hour later, went upstairs, washed her face, and addressed the envelope to Idgie. After she sealed it, she went over to the window and looked up at the blue sky. She took a deep breath of fresh air and felt her heart rising like a kite that some child had just released to the heavens."
"I admired Ruth for having the courage to walk away like that. It took real courage in those days. Back then, if you were married, you stayed married. But she was a lot stronger than people knew. Everybody was always treating Ruth like a china doll, but you know, she was a lot stronger than Idgie in many ways."
And right after Ruth gets to the Threadgood house:
"Ruth went outside, where Idgie was waiting in the backyard, lying in the grass, listening to crickets, and wondering why she felt so drunk after she had not had a drop to drink."
And when Idgie and Big George are on trial for murder:
"The judge, the Honorable Curtis Smoote, knew damn well that there had not been any three-day tent revival in the middle of December. And from where he was sitting, he had also seen that the preacher did not have a Bible between the covers of the book he had sworn on. He had seldom seen such a scrubbed-up lot of down and dirty characters. And besides, the judge's daughter had just died a couple f weeks ago, old before her time and living a dog's life on the outskirts of town, because of Frank Bennett; so he really didn't care who had killed the SOB."
"And before she (Ruth) knew what had happened, she had slapped Idgie across the face with all her might.
Idgie looked at Ruth, speechless and stunned. They just stood there, looking at each other, and in that moment Ruth wished more than anything in the world that she could just grab her and hold her as tight as she could; but if she had, she knew she would never let go.
So Ruth did the hardest thing she had ever done in her life; she just turned around and left, and closed the door behind her."
Ruth's mother dying:
"You get away from him....Ruth, promise me. He's the devil...
...Ruth cried for her mother and, an hour later, went upstairs, washed her face, and addressed the envelope to Idgie. After she sealed it, she went over to the window and looked up at the blue sky. She took a deep breath of fresh air and felt her heart rising like a kite that some child had just released to the heavens."
"I admired Ruth for having the courage to walk away like that. It took real courage in those days. Back then, if you were married, you stayed married. But she was a lot stronger than people knew. Everybody was always treating Ruth like a china doll, but you know, she was a lot stronger than Idgie in many ways."
And right after Ruth gets to the Threadgood house:
"Ruth went outside, where Idgie was waiting in the backyard, lying in the grass, listening to crickets, and wondering why she felt so drunk after she had not had a drop to drink."
And when Idgie and Big George are on trial for murder:
"The judge, the Honorable Curtis Smoote, knew damn well that there had not been any three-day tent revival in the middle of December. And from where he was sitting, he had also seen that the preacher did not have a Bible between the covers of the book he had sworn on. He had seldom seen such a scrubbed-up lot of down and dirty characters. And besides, the judge's daughter had just died a couple f weeks ago, old before her time and living a dog's life on the outskirts of town, because of Frank Bennett; so he really didn't care who had killed the SOB."
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