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Accomplishments
You can fool all of the people all of the time if your effects budget is large enough.
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Achievement
You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.
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Acquisition
The discovery that you're no longer a big fish in a small pond, or even a small fish in a big pond, but a small fish in a big fish.
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Adaptation
The bad news is robots can do your job now. The good news is we're now hiring robot repair technicians. The worse news is we're working on robot-fixing robots- and we do not anticipate any further good news.
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Arrogance
The best leaders inspire by example. When that's not an option, brute intimidation works pretty well, too.
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Beauty
If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core.
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Bitterness
Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world, because there's nothing the world loves more than the taste of really sweet dreams.
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Challenges
I expected times like this - but I never thought they'd be so bad, so long, and so frequent.
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Change
Politicians are like diapers. They need to be changed often and for the same reason.
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Change (winds)
When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can become deadly projectiles.
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Collaboration
When a motivated group of people join together, they can turn problems into opportunities. Especially drinking problems.
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Consulting
If you're not a part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.
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Creativity
Helps artists die young, miserable, and penniless- so their art can have meaning to the old, satisfied, and obscenely rich.
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Curiosity
Some Places Remain Unknown Because No One Has Ventured Forth. Others Remain So Because No One Has Ever Come Back.
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Dare To Slack
When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness.
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Delusions
There is no greater joy than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality.
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Demotivation
Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people.
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Discovery
A company that will go to the ends of the Earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans.
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Disservice
It takes months to find a customer, but only seconds to lose one... the good news is that we should run out of them in no time.
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Dysfunction
The only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.
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Economics
The science of explaining tomorrow why the predictions you made yesterday didn't come true today.
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Elitism
It's lonely at the top, but it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.
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Excuses
If you keep asking others to give you the benefit of the doubt, they'll eventually start to doubt your benefit.
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Fear
Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea.
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Freedom
I may not agree with what you say, but I respect your right to be punished for it.
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Futility
You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and, statistically speaking, 99% of the shots you do.
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Government
If you think the problems we create are bad, just wait until you see our solutions.
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Hazards
There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you're pretty much doomed.
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Ignorance
It's amazing how much easier it is for a team to work together when no one has any idea where they're going.
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Incompetence
When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.
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Indecision
The mark of the leader is the ability to make decisions. The mark of the survivor is knowing when not to.
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Indifference
It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.
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Insanity
It's difficult to comprehend how insane some people can be. Especially when you're insane.
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Inspiration
Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99% perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad.
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Intimidation
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, but you'd be a fool to withhold that from your superiors.
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Legacy
It took millions of years to create something this extraordinary. You have about seventy-four.
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Loneliness
If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.
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Madness
Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "Hey, is there room in your head for one more?"
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Marketing
Because making it look good now is more important than providing adequate support later.
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Mediocrity
It takes a lot less time and most people won't notice the difference until it's too late.
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Mercy
Teach every child you meet the importance of forgiveness. It's our only hope of surviving their wrath once they realize just how badly we've screwed things up for them.
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Mistakes
It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others.
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Motivation
If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.
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Opportunity
I am Dr. Adewole Aremu- a director with the Union Bank of Nigeria in Lagos - and I wish to speak to you most urgently about a matter regarding the sum of $39,000,000 US Dollars...
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Overconfidence
Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you.
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Perspective
Less is more. Unless you're standing next to the one with more. Then less just looks pathetic.
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Pessimism
Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it.
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Planning
Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress.
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Possibilities
With focus, dedication and steroids, men can achieve impossible dreams. Like breaking a world record. Or growing their own breasts.
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Pressure
It can turn a lump of coal into a flawless diamond, or an average person into a perfect basketcase.
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Pretension
The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious.
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Pride
The art of calling faith in yourself "Self-Esteem" while calling it "conceit" when you see it in others.
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Priorities
Hundreds of years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove... But the world may be different because I did something so bafflingly crazy that my ruins become a tourist attraction.
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Problems
No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you've probably only seen the tip of them.
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Propaganda
What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies right to our faces.
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Quality
The race for quality has no finish line- so technically, it's more like a death march.
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Regret
It hurts to admit when you make mistakes - but when they're big enough, the pain only lasts a second.
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Retirement
Because you've given so much of yourself to the company that you don't have anything left we can use.
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Risks
If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments.
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The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood. And Robert Frost took the one less traveled. Of course, he also heckled his rivals and started fires to disrupt their poetry readings. But that makes for a terrible motivational poster. Unless you're a petty pyromaniac. In which case, here you go.
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Sacrifice
Your role may be thankless, but if you're willing to give it your all, you just might bring success to those who outlast you.
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Sanity
Minds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can borrow mine.
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The Secret
What is The Secret? Pretend you've already achieved it- Then offer to sell The Secret to others.
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Service
View all customers as beautiful buds that must be cultivated, watered, and periodically buried under manure.
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Stupidity
Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots.
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Teamwork
A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.
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Tradition
Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.
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Tranquility
As long as there are children in the world, there will never be any real peace.
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Underachievement (Penguin)
Because soaring with the eagles requires so much more effort.
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Victory
Winners never fly higher than when they're bouncing up and down on the egos of those they defeat.
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Vision
How can the future be so hard to predict when all of my worst fears keep coming true?
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Winners
Because nothing says "you're a loser" more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.
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Wisdom
Sometimes the only difference between a budding genius and a blooming idiot is where they choose to take a stand.
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Wishes
When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
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Demotivators®new!
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DespairWearnew!
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24 x 30 Posters
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Pessimist's Glasses
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Exaggerators Anonymous
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24 x 30 Lithographs
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15 oz. Coffee Mugs
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Laptop Skins
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Occupy
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Exaggerators Anonymous
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