I have a three month old that has yet to be posted on. I think second baby syndrome is in full effect. Oh, have I mentioned that he's three months old and has not had newborn pictures taken? Don't mention it to me. I'm likely to break down and cry. I'm not joking.

Anyways. About that new baby. My son is the polar opposite of big sister. Yes, I can already tell. Chloe constantly needed reassurance that everything was okay, and that you weren't leaving her. Isaiah likes to be held like any baby, but he soothes himself so much better than his sister did.

He's opposite of his sister in lots of ways. Like the carseat. Neither one like it, but Isaiah doesn't scream when you put him in it, he just smiles and coos. After a while he gets upset, but usually falls asleep after he gets upset. Whereas Chloe would scream. And scream. And scream. For hours. Yes, the whole trip, not sleeping, screaming. Other ways they're opposite is when I leave the room. Chloe would freak out every time; Isaiah keeps calm for a few minutes, but after that he starts fussing as if to say "Where are you? I might need something!!" He'll calm down when I come back and start talking to him. It's funny how at such a young age their personalities are showing.

I'm starting to wonder if I should have shared so much about Chloe's disposition with other people. There's a few people close to us who think that my daughter is too needy, and use her as an example of the "reason why you shouldn't hold your baby too much." While my daughter needed constant reassurance for a long time, she is no longer the needy baby she once was. She is a "big girl" now. It saddens me; they truly don't know my daughter. She's the most independent little girl I know, insisting to do everything herself. It makes me wonder if I brought this upon myself by telling too much about her. I would hate for someone to judge my daughter based upon what her momma told people about her when she was a baby. It's just something that gets brought to my attention every so often when not-so-nice comments are made. I'm working on not bringing out my mama claws and being nice and informative instead.

About Chloe now! That girl is awesome. She's such a good sister, it really surprised me. I thought we would deal with jealousy and momma not being able to play with her as much (yeah, I'm one of those people who plays with their kids a lot,) but she has done amazing. She wants to help shush him when he's crying, pat his back, change his diaper, and the sweet girl even tried to nurse him while I was in the bathroom and he was rooting. Yeah, it was pretty funny, "Mommy, he was hungry and you weren't there!!" After some explaining that only mommies can nurse babies, she now leaves that up to this momma. She's also quite hilarious, making up funny stories to tell us, playing pretend that there's monsters and we need to go hunt them, and saying things that three year olds say. It is definitely never boring around a three year old, for sure, and I'm biased thinking mine is hilarious. She is. :)

The transition to two was what I thought it would be: a wonderful challenge. I have found that most of the challenge is in my attitude. I have to choose to be not stressed about trying to meet both of their needs at the same time, and take a deep breath before I get frustrated with my three year old (why doesn't she understand I'm trying to put the baby to sleep??) Around weeks 4-9 I was pretty stressed, and I didn't understand why my babies were stressed, too. I made a decision to have a positive attitude and be calm; just how babies sense that we're stressed, they also sense that mommy is calm, and things are good. I am also very blessed to have him sleep a six hour stretch, then three, then two before he's up for the day. Like I said before, the opposite of his sister.

Hopefully I'll post more frequently, but who knows, I'm studying again as of today. A prayer for my success would be greatly appreciated!

Note: This was originally posted on November 7, 2010, on my old blog.

So a lot of people have been asking me for details about my labor and delivery. I started writing about it to share with my friends on Facebook, but it got ridiculously long.

Fair warning: if you're squeamish or don't want to hear about a baby coming out of a woman, don't read this :) Also, I'm long winded. You might get halfway through and shout out "GET TO THE POINT!!!" I put in every detail of this, because some of my friends have never given birth and are considering natural labor and delivery, so that’s the reason this is as long as a novel. They asked me to spare nothing, and that's exactly what I've done.

So, here's my birthing experience from start to finish :)

I woke up feeling normal and started my routine. While doing the dishes and making a late breakfast I started having contractions. I don't know how far apart they were, but they were a bit painful, more like period cramps. Around 12:30ish I started keeping track of them, just for kicks. I thought they would go away, because they always do :)

John and I decided to go to Walmart and pick up a few things to walk around and see if my contractions would progress. They went from 10 minutes apart to 7 minutes apart, and were slowly getting more intense. It was nice that they started out slow and kept at a steady pace. I still didn't believe I was in labor, even after 4 hours of "Braxton Hicks." During contractions at Walmart I just leaned against the shopping cart. It was nice being out shopping, because it helped me to keep my mind focused on other things. Then we went out to eat. During the meal, they got more intense and closer together. This is when I called my midwife with the "I don't think I'm in labor, but I just wanted you to know..." schpeal. This way if it really is labor, she’s not completely taken by surprise. She told me to call her when they got five minutes apart. So we went home.

I made a pumpkin roll, scrubbed my stove, and did a few last minute things I felt like doing. I reeeeally didn’t think I was in labor, because my contractions kept going from steady to sporadic. By the way, the pumpkin roll got made, but not the filling; it sadly got thrown out three days later :( Then I took a shower and a bath per my midwife's instructions. I was told to get on my all fours and sit there for a little while. After doing so the, erm, "plug" proceeded to make its way out of my body. I thought, "Hooray! It might happen in a couple days now!" The contractions got to about 5 minutes, then back up to 6, then a weird one at 7 thrown in there, then down to 4. I thought I was having Braxton Hicks all day long, even though they were steadily getting closer together and more intense. By this point the contractions hurt enough that I just wanted to breathe deeply when they happened. Before I could look at someone and still understand what they were saying; not anymore.

So around 8ish my midwife told me to go ahead and head that way since it's a one hour drive to our birthing center. I really felt bad, because I thought we'd get there and I'd be sent home and she drove all the way there for nothing. HA! We got there around 10ish and when she checked me I was at a 7, which was shocking to me, because I still didn't feel like I was in labor. I was also comparing my contractions to pitocin-induced contractions, which are much different. Don’t get me wrong, the contractions weren’t fun, but I was expecting intense pain from the start.

For the most part I was able to focus and concentrate to get through the contractions. It reminded me of being a teenager in middle school and having horrible period cramps while trying to keep a straight face at the lunch table. Sometime soon after getting there they got very intense and required a lot of focus. Up until the last hour of my labor it was very bearable. Translation: yes, it hurt a lot, but I didn’t scream.

Once my contractions were three minutes apart they started to hurt a lot. John and I would be talking and laughing for most of the labor, but once this stage hit, I wanted no conversation at all. I told John in between contractions to keep it completely silent, because the slightest conversation made me lose focus and I started getting squeamish.

For those of you who clicked on here from Facebook and don't know me too well, just know that I don't normally share these kind of things with people. For educational and humorous purposes, I am sharing. It is pretty embarrassing. At the advice of my friend Elizabeth I got on my all fours in the bathtub during labor. It helped a lot to bear the pain! My back was hurting, and I wanted John to rub my lower back. Keep in mind I'm on all fours, and he has to rub my lower back, so my rear is facing him; and I'm in water. Here's a fact we didn't know while I was in labor: my son had his hand on his head when he was born. This caused his elbow to run alongside my rectum, which makes for some major pains in the butt while you're in labor. It also "pushes" things out. Like gas. Every time I had a contraction and my son's body was traveling a little further down the birthing canal, my body would involuntarily expel gas. My husband would bust out laughing. In the middle of my "KEEP IT QUIET!!!" contractions. It made me laugh. I lost focus. I ended up crying and screaming at that point. It hurt a lot, and I was trying to focus, and I understood why it was a laughing matter, but I just wanted to FOCUS and get over the contractions. Sometime soon after this I felt the urge to push, thus the mood changed and we all stopped laughing. At some point in here my midwife gave me some herbs called "Rescue Remedy" that you can buy at Vitamin Shoppe. With the gas bubbles in the bathtub causing me to laugh then cry then scream, she thought it would help me calm down. It did.

At the very end I couldn’t keep still. I was twisting and turning in the water during the whole process, because trying to sit on my bottom hurt sooo bad. When I felt the urge to push it scared me. My body was doing things I wasn't telling it to do. I felt a bit of panic rise up in me as I realized that there was no way out, no "easy" button to push that would give me drugs or an epidural. I prayed a very quick prayer in my head. I also believe I cried out to God, out loud, to get me through it. In between contractions I worked as hard as I could to stay calm. I'd never felt this before and it was a little scary, but I knew that if millions of women before me had given birth and felt the pain, and lived to tell the tale with a smile on their face, then surely I could.

I’m going to tell you now that I was a screamer in my first labor with my pitocin contractions. While I didn’t scream during the contractions while I was in labor this time, I moaned a LOT. My midwife/doula team at the end helped me not to scream. I personally feel like if you have to scream, let it out. The reason you don’t want to scream while you’re having intense contractions is because it DOES make it worse. You’re trying to focus and stay calm, and when you scream you lose all focus and then you end up thrashing around. Well, at least I did :) I screamed/moaned/went back and forth when I pushed. I found it to be the only way to try not to think about what was happening. Some people can stay calm while they push. While feeling my baby’s head stretch things out, I felt like screaming. So I screamed.

When my water broke I was so relieved. It hurt, actually, because I was pushing, and it kind of torpedoed out, and I felt it "pop." I thought it was the head coming out, and for a moment I thought to myself "Praise God! That wasn't so bad!" But then I realized it was just my water breaking... I pushed a few times before he started crowning. Yes, it hurt as each time I pushed he stretched things out more and more. I believe I cried. I honestly can't remember much about this stage.

My midwife told me to only push as hard as I felt like doing. She told me that this stage is best if it goes slow. I don't think I listened. I felt pain, and I wanted it to stop, so after a few pushes I gave it all I had, and his head popped out. It kind of shot out. I don't know if it was his hand being on his head or me pushing too hard, but I ended up having a labia split. With Chloe I had an epesiotomy that was dangerously close to being, excuse the term, from hole to hole. That was horrible. I couldn't sit down, lay down, pee, poop, or do anything without feeling the pain of that for at least eight weeks afterwards. Anyways, the labia split was nothing compared to being cut, but it did sting a little afterwards when I peed. It really wasn't that bad.

What does the head feel like coming out? I have no idea. Really. That’s the strange part of it. I remember screaming while pushing. I remember when my water broke while pushing. I remember the head stretching me a little, then going back in, over and over. But when his head popped out, I don’t remember anything but my midwife telling me to stop pushing, because she had to manipulate his hand and arm , you know, so it wouldn’t tear me a new hole down there. I remember her manipulating it, but I don’t remember the pain. It’s almost like God gives us the ability to push it out our minds. I’ll never forget the pain of contractions with the pitocin, but this was different. I don’t feel traumatized. I pushed 8 or 9 times total, I think about 20 minutes. Some people say the shoulders hurt more, but I don't remember there being a difference.

It’s weird. It was over like that. They put him on my chest and the pain was 100% gone. Well, it still burned a little down there, but trust me, it’s nothing you can’t handle at this point and you’re not worried about it. I was still in “PUSH IT OUT!!!” mode when they put him on my chest, because I didn’t realize it was done. It surprised me. John snapped a picture of that moment. It’s nice to look at and see that I don’t look like a monster :) I was worried I would.

After he came out he started screaming immediately. Chloe was born asleep, so it kind of startled me. I went from being in immense pain to holding my newborn, and I just wanted him to feel loved. Yeah, I'm one of those mushy "share your feelings" people. We stayed in the water for some time after that. We waited about 10 minutes to cut his cord, for it to stop pulsing, and John cut it. He didn't with Chloe, and it surprised me when he took the offer and scissors from my midwife and cut it. John then went with our doula and son outside our room to weigh him and get his cord properly clamped.

My midwife then gave a gentle tug on the umbilical cord (THAT was a strange feeling, not painful, just STRANGE,) to try to deliver the placenta. It was still firmly in place, so we waited. She tried about every five minutes for 15 minutes and then she gave me some herbs, I don't remember what they were, sorry, that helped to deliver the placenta. She didn't want to tug it out, because it's attached to your uterus and you don't want to rip it off. She said that letting it come off gently would help with healing and bleeding. I have to say that she's right; my uterus didn't hurt near as much this time around (besides the first two days after when you experience the "afterbirth" pain in your uterus.) So after she gave me a dropper full of herbs, within a few minutes she asked me to push and out it came. It was uncomfortable, but not painful.

Then I got into bed to be examined. Did I mention I got to be in a king-sized bed with John sitting next to me? That was nice. Anyways, they looked me over and saw the labia split, explained that the pain in my bottom was from his hand, and told me that everything looked the way it should. They had me get up a few minutes later and attempt to pee. At this point I started shaking a little, not much, but it was uncontrollable. My doula said that it was normal, and that my body was transitioning. It was strange to be sitting on a toilet trying to pee while you're shaking uncontrollably :) I couldn't pee yet, so they had me get back in bed to nurse my son and sleep. My son latched on perfectly, within an hour of being born, and I could actually hear him gulping. I found that funny since Chloe had such problems at first (she started nursing 1.5 hours after being born and was given a pacifier by the hospital staff, which I believe hindered her nursing skills for the first six weeks.) I tried to fall asleep, but I was still shaking.

After about an hour I was able to fall asleep. I got up not too long after and was able to pee (it burned from the labia split!) and got back in bed with John and my son. Oh yeah, my doula helped me out of bed each time, I didn't attempt walking by myself :) We all fell asleep some time after that, and woke up at eight. We filled out paperwork, got footprints, and John signed a document saying he would keep me in bed three days. Then we went home, and I was able to sleep in my own bed.

Here’s the time table from start to finish if you’re curious. Yes, I really did keep track of all of them like that, which surprises me since I’m horrible at remembering things.

Contractions:

11:25a, 11:33, 11:45, 11:57, Lost track, 12:28, 12:38, 12:48, 12:58, 1:08, 1:14, 1:18, 1:22, 1:27, Commuting to Walmart lost track, 1:44, 1:54, 2:04, 2:15, 2:24, 2:31, 2:41, 2:48, 2:54, 3:00, 3:07, 3:16,3:23, 3:31, 3:40, 3:51,3:58, 4:08, 4:18, 4:27, 4:34, 4:42, 5:00, 5:07, 5:13, 5:20, 5:27, 5:34, 5:45, 5:50, 5:57, 6:03, 6:09

And I lost my piece of paper that had the rest of the contractions written on it. I told you I'm horrible at remembering things; I'm worse at putting things in a safe place. Note: Don't lend me anything of great personal value.

Notes my doula kept for me:
12:54a Water broke
1:10 Crowning
1:12 Head out
1:12 Birth
1:55 Placenta delivered

I keep re-reading this to make sure it has everything in it I want it to, and to make sure that the details I've shared aren't too much. Then again, I'm telling you how I pushed a baby out of my womanhood, so TMI is inevitable. I think this is it. I had a bunch of other things I was going to share, but they're kind of...TMI overload? They're things that I wish someone had told me about giving birth and afterwards, but in retrospect I realize why it's not a topic of conversation. If you're curious, let me know, maybe I'll have the guts to post about it.

Wow. What an experience. My recovery has been a blessing. I feel so much better this time around. With Chloe I literally waddled for at least two weeks. A few days ago I was dancing around the living room with my three-year old. I am immensely blessed. Really. Thank you, God, for this blessing of life and for the birthing experience that came along with it.

Here's the recipe I use for pepper steak. I don't remember where I found it, but it's a page ripped out of a magazine.

1 tablespoon olive oil
1.5 lbs good cut of beef, cut into strips about 1/4" thick (I used London broil, you could use steak, brisket, whatever you have)
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 large onion, peeled and cut into strips
1 large green bell pepper, cored and cut into strips
3 cloves garlic, minced

1/2 cup beef broth
3 tablespoons light soy sauce (I used regular, and it was fine)
1 tablespoon rice vinegar
1 teaspoon cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon Chinese five spice (I substituted a pinch of cinnamon, a pinch of ground cloves, and a small dash of cayenne pepper)

3 cups cooked rice, or however much your family needs

1. Heat oil in large skillet or wok over medium-high heat. Season beef with salt and cook about 5 minutes, turning halfway. Put on a plate on the stove to keep warm.

2. Add the onoins, peppers and garlic to the skillet and cook about 8 minutes, stirring occasionally.

3. In a small bowl mix together the beef broth, soy sauce, vinegar, cornstarch, and spices. Add to the skillet and simmer for 2 minutes. Add in the steak and any juice left on the plate and toss steak for a minute or two to heat it up again. Remove from heat and serve on top of rice.

The sauce that you make with this was just enough for John and me to have over rice; we had leftover rice that I used for lunch the next day. I'm going to double the sauce next time to make sure we both get plenty. If you double the sauce, you might want to double the vegetables as well. Just a thought.

Chloe will eat this if I don't pour sauce on her cut of beef and give her plain rice, just to give you an idea if you have a little one who might not want something a bit spicy. I also save a couple pepper strips for her before I cook them, because she'll eat them raw, but not with the sauce on top.

Sometimes I make a meal plan, and sometimes when I do I post it. Here's my two-week meal plan I just made to coincide with our budget this pay period. This paycheck we're having to scrimp because of an unexpected expense, so I'm planning meals to use up things we have and buy as little as possible. I did buy four top-round London broils because they were buy one get one free (I use these for my pot roast and brisket when they go on sale like this) but that's the only "splurge" I made, and it was mostly to put in the freezer.

Here's my plan:

11 M Chicken, Broccoli, Rice
12 T Chicken and Dumplings, green beans
13 W 5 Cheese Pasta, bread, salad
14 TH Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, lima beans, corn
15 F Chicken Enchiladas
16 S Potato Soup, Rolls

17 S Pot Roast, carrots, mashed potatoes
18 M Asian Pepper Steak & Rice
19 T Chicken Strips, Mac & Cheese, lima beans
20 W BBQ Brisket Sandwiches, beans (made with the leftover pot roast)
21 TH Bean Soup, cornbread
22 F Pretty Chicken, corn, potatoes, green beans
23 S Chicken & Dumplings, green beans
24 S Quesadillas, fiesta potatoes or rice

I like looking at others' meal plans to get ideas, so I thought you might get an idea or two from mine.

So I've had a lot of sewing projects lately that have taken up my free time. I made some baby shower gifts...and I forgot to take pictures!! I made a cute taggie blanket and a set of 12 (24 total) nursing pads as a gift. I'm making some nursing pads for myself, so maybe I'll post them when I'm done. I think I'm going to make some burp cloths for myself as well. It depends on how ambitious I am.

I've also been making these really cute fruit rattles for Isaiah. I found these online for $22 each...EACH...and I decided I would try to make them out of felt. So far they're turning out really nice, but not as perfect as the ones for $22. I'm sure my son won't notice. If you want to see a picture of them, go to the Mahar Dry Goods website. I don't want to put a link up on my blog for it since I'm pretty much stealing their design to make them myself. I think total I've invested $3 (that's including the plastic safety eyes!) in the project, so I'm feeling pretty smug about my savings. If I finish them anytime soon and feel like they're good enough to show you, I might try to show you how I made them, rattle and all. They're stinkin' cute.

I have lots of other projects I want to do, like making a cute hat and matching shoes for this adorable outfit for my son. There other things taking favor over that project, though, such as deep cleaning my house (steam cleaning the carpets included,) making more meals to freeze, and overall organizing before we have a house guests for almost a month straight to visit the newborn baby.

Hmm. I need to get off the computer and start working on this stuff, starting with my carpet!

As of late I've been trying harder to keep my home in order and have it stay that way. Sometimes when I'm in "study mode" I tend to forget about all of my other duties at home, and sometimes I'm just plain tired. It's been going well so far. I decided that when Isaiah gets here I would much rather have my home organized and in order than a million meals frozen. I'm not giving up on freezing meals, but when I have a free hour to do something I'm rummaging through closets and boxes instead of cooking. This should hopefully make the moving process easier when Isaiah is around 4-5 months old and our lease is up. I would appreciate prayers as I strive to be a better mom and wife at home.

I've also got some projects I've been working on for Christmas presents for both of my kids. It's so easy to come up with homemade gifts for kids, but not adults! I mean, John wouldn't really like to have butterfly-adorned felt slippers ;) I would love to hear your ideas on homemade gifts, particularly for men. I've got quite a long list of ideas from which to pull from for my children, so we'll see which ones I pick or end up working out.

What I might be making my newborn son:

What I might be making my three-year old daughter:
You'll notice a lot of things will be made out of felt. After making the orange rattle (which my daughter begged to be hers, and for me to make Isaiah a new one,) my daughter fell in love with felt. She plays with sheets of felt. For hours. She puts them on her head and pretends they're hats. She tries to cover herself up with them and pretends they're "tiny blankets." She throws them in the air, like one would do with a big stack of dollar bills, and has a huge grin on her face the whole time. So I decided that some presents made out of felt would be a great idea for her. I have no idea what I'm going to make that ends up being present worthy, but I'd really like homemade presents to be a staple in our household.

Anyways, just wanted to share what's been on my mind and my plate lately. And for anyone wondering, I'm 34 weeks pregnant, in "nesting" mode, and have had to start waddling to walk. Yes, I have had many a comment on how hilarious it is to watch me walk. If they had a child sitting in their pelvic cavity pounding their fists into them every time they tried to close their legs (you know, walking,) because they're squishing said child, then I'm sure they'd waddle as well. That doesn't count for how bad it looks when I have to pee.

Haven't seen you in a while.

So my daughter is three. I probably should write down her milestones, but I can't remember a lot of them. She really likes words these days, and likes words with lots of syllables, like stupendous and ferocious. She thinks they're funny to use in conversation. Like most three-year olds, I am learning more and more that she is a little person, and understands nearly everything I say, like comprehends it. John and I are having to watch our "inuendos" around her these days. Yeah, that's embarrassing. She seems to understand that Isaiah is part of our family already, and he's going to come out of my belly sometime soon. We've been practicing how to be gentle with her baby dolls, and what NOT to give a baby. We'll see how well that sunk in soon enough :)

I have yet to take her three year portraits. She took a nasty spill on our second-floor concrete steps (yes, scary,) and had some scars on her face we were letting heal before we took them, then it started raining a lot where we wanted to take her pictures, so in the next couple weeks I really need to get it done. She's said so many things lately that make me laugh or smile, but my favorite was last night when I gave her a hug good night and she whispered in my ear "You can be my best friend, mommy." It made my heart swell. Oh yeah, for anyone wondering, she's been completely potty trained for a long time now. A few weeks before we went to Kansas City she started pooping on the potty, and hasn't pooped in a diaper once since then. That was like four months ago. She also stopped nursing a long time ago; I sadly don't remember exactly when. She doesn't ask for it anymore, and we've been talking more and more about how the baby is going to nurse, and she finds that funny.

I'm 33 weeks pregnant today (I don't know what my ticker says, but it's wrong,) and I'm starting to feel tired a lot. Isaiah has moved down farther in my belly and there's a lot of pressure on my pelvis. My due date is getting closer and closer, and I'm realizing that I don't have everything done that I want done. There's equipment I need to get, a house that needs to be thoroughly cleaned and organized...again...and meals that need to be frozen. I made up my mind that if I got all of this done I will be "ready," and then I realized that if things don't get done it won't be the end of the world.

I really need to keep up with this more, because there's sooo much that's missing, but life goes on. It's not the end of the world if I don't keep up with my blog. I've said that twice now :) Anyways, just wanted to update with something other than videos of our trip. I still haven't found it in me to go through those 800+ pictures. I shudder thinking about it. Maybe one day I'll get back into scrapbooking and organize all of them, but I doubt it. Some things have to be taken out of my life to make room for more important things. It was sad when I realized my hobbies weren't "important," but even better when I realized that it didn't kill me and I'm happier when everything is done the way it should be. Whew. I'm done for now.